It’s tough enough to meet single guys, but I have an even bigger problem: I’m completely uninterested in most of the men I do meet. They just don’t have that much going on and I want someone who intrigues and inspires me. Here’s why I find many men to be dull:

They rely on their looks to get by in life.

Having a hot man around is nice and all, but it seems like most of the guys out there who are attractive have nothing going on beneath the surface. They’ve always gotten what they want based on their looks alone and they’ve never had to try at anything.

They’re super basic.

If I meet one more guy who’s into sports, whiskey, and his dog, I’m going to crawl into my apartment and never come back out. I don’t want a man who’s just like every other man out there. Snooze.

They only care about sports, beer, and the gym…

Yeah, I want a fit partner, but I’m so bored by dudes who don’t ever want to do anything except lift, watch basketball and hang out at the same local pub all the time. I like an exciting life full of spontaneous adventure.

… or video games, weed and sci-fi.

I can’t decide which is worse—bros who only want to bulk up and talk about fantasy football or stoners who lay around on the couch all weekend and talk about fantasy shows/book series/games. I honestly can’t stand either. They have nothing to offer.

They’re emotionally stunted.

It’s a sad truth—it’s difficult to find a man who’s mature enough to be vulnerable and emotionally open. I find no appeal in childish man-boys who can’t handle their feelings or mine. I’m out the door.

They can’t discuss anything of depth intelligently.

I don’t do shallow dudes. There’s nothing remotely attractive to me about a guy who isn’t interested in the world, how it works, and what’s happening. If he “doesn’t care” about the issues close to my heart, nothing will ever develop between us.

They’re terrible listeners.

Either they only want to talk about themselves or they’d prefer there was no talking at all. I’m not cool with either of these options. I’m a big conversationalist and I want nothing more than to have interesting, equal discussions about anything and everything.

They refuse to open up about themselves.

It’s almost as bad when a man lets me talk but doesn’t ever tell me anything about himself. If I’m with a guy, I want to know everything—his hopes, his dreams, his fears, his history. I want to have a deep and intimate connection. Anything less is a waste of time.

They’re bad communicators.

This seems to be most dudes and I find that endlessly frustrating. Relationships can’t survive on bad or nonexistent communication. If my partner and I can’t master this aspect of our connection, then we won’t have any chance at lasting for long.

They don’t have senses of humor.

I cannot deal with men who don’t know how to laugh and enjoy themselves. I definitely can’t deal with men who don’t make me laugh! It’s so important to be able to be silly with the person you love. Most men aren’t funny to me and therefore I don’t like them.

Their humor doesn’t vibe with mine.

Even if they do have humorous sides, I can’t deal with guys who don’t get my sense of humor and vice versa. Everyone is different and there are a lot of “funny” things that I don’t think are funny at all. I’m only dating a man if we crack each other up.

They don’t take a genuine interest in me.

There’s nothing more boring than a guy who is just trying to get into my pants. I’m old enough now that I can definitely tell when that’s the case, and when I figure it out, I’m done. There’s no point in proceeding any further unless he really likes me as a person.

They aren’t being authentically themselves.

It’s a drag when people try and pretend to be something they’re not. I grew out of that and I expect any guy I date to have done the same. If he’s just presenting a false front to impress me he’s wasting both of our time.

They dislike the things I like for no good reason.

Of course people have different opinions, but I can’t stand it when a guy is like “cats suck” or “yoga is dumb” or “wine is girly.” They never have any basis for any of it—they just think that it makes them sound cool, and it really doesn’t. Next, please.

They don’t “get” women.

Men who are completely mystified and dumbfounded by women usually can’t keep one of us for very long. The men who jump in and want to learn all about me and my complications are the kind of men I want around. The rest of them can go far far away.

They think they understand me better than I do.

Oh, this is my favorite. Nothing is more off-putting than a condescending, dismissive, patronizing man. It’s amazing just how many of them are out there. I refuse to even consider such men as potential love interests because they gross e out.

They mansplain.

Nope. I’m a perfectly capable and intelligent human being and I don’t need this kind of negative energy in my life. I don’t think guys who do this are amazing and brilliant, I think they’re boring. Their need to dominate me is incredibly boring.

They’re intimidated by me.

The quickest way to bore me is to tell me that my strength is intimidating. I don’t want to be with a man who feels too insecure and weak to be with me. Biggest turn-off ever.

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