We’ve all encountered people who seem to have an uncanny ability to make everything about themselves. They dominate conversations, demand attention, and rarely show genuine interest in other people. While a little self-focus is natural, consistently putting your own needs and desires above everyone else’s can be a sign of a self-centered personality. So, what are the telltale signs of someone who doesn’t care about anyone but themselves?
1. They dominate conversations.
A conversation with a self-centered person often feels like a one-sided monologue. They’ll talk endlessly about themselves, their accomplishments, their problems, their opinions, with little regard for whether you’re interested or have anything to add. They might interrupt you mid-sentence or change the subject back to themselves, leaving you feeling unheard and unimportant.
2. They lack empathy.
Self-centered people struggle to put themselves in anyone else’s shoes and understand their feelings. They might dismiss your concerns, minimize your problems, or offer unsolicited advice without truly listening. They may also have difficulty recognizing or responding to emotional cues, making it difficult to connect with them on a deeper level.
3. They take more than they give.
Relationships with self-centered people often feel one-sided, Verywell Mind acknowledges. They’ll gladly accept your help, support, and attention, but rarely reciprocate. They might expect you to always be available for them, but disappear when you need a listening ear or a helping hand. This imbalance can leave you feeling drained and unappreciated.
4. They want things done their way.
Self-centered people are often inflexible and demanding. They have a strong preference for things to be done their way, and they have little patience for compromise or negotiation. They might throw a tantrum if they don’t get their way, or sulk and withdraw if things don’t go according to their plan.
5. They’re quick to blame people and avoid responsibility.
When things go wrong, self-centered people are quick to point fingers and deflect blame. They rarely take responsibility for their own mistakes or shortcomings, preferring to blame external circumstances or other people. This lack of accountability can make it difficult to resolve conflicts or work together effectively.
6. They have a sense of entitlement.
Self-centered people often feel entitled to special treatment or privileges. They might expect people to cater to their every whim, without considering the impact. They might also have a sense of superiority, believing they’re better than everyone and deserve more respect and admiration.
7. They’re constantly seeking validation and attention.
Self-centered people crave external validation and constantly seek attention. They might fish for compliments, brag about their accomplishments, or create drama to keep the spotlight on themselves. This need for constant reassurance can be exhausting for those around them and make it difficult to have a genuine connection.
8. They use people for their own gain.
Self-centered people often see people as means to an end. They might befriend someone for their connections, date someone for their status, or use someone’s kindness for their own personal gain. They lack genuine interest in other people’s well-being and are primarily focused on what they can get out of the relationship.
9. They have difficulty maintaining friendships.
Self-centered people often struggle to maintain meaningful friendships. Their lack of empathy, tendency to dominate conversations, and focus on their own needs can be off-putting to people. They might also have difficulty understanding or respecting the needs and boundaries of their friends, leading to conflicts and misunderstandings.
10. They lack genuine interest in people.
When you talk to a self-centered person, you might notice that they rarely ask questions about your life, your thoughts, or your feelings. They might nod politely while you’re speaking, but their minds are elsewhere, waiting for their turn to talk about themselves. This lack of genuine interest can make you feel invisible and unimportant.
11. They’re always the victim.
In the world of a self-centered person, they are always the victim. They blame other people for their problems, exaggerate their struggles, and seek sympathy for every minor inconvenience. They rarely take responsibility for their own actions or acknowledge the impact they have on people.
12. They have a hard time saying “sorry.”
Self-centered people struggle to apologize sincerely because they rarely see themselves as being in the wrong. Even when they do apologize, it might feel insincere or manipulative, as if they’re just saying what they need to say to get out of trouble or avoid conflict.
13. They’re not good listeners.
During a conversation, a self-centered person might interrupt you, change the subject, or zone out altogether. They might nod along while you’re talking, but they’re not truly listening. They’re too preoccupied with their own thoughts and opinions to fully engage with what you’re saying.
14. They don’t offer help unless it benefits them.
A self-centered person might offer help, but usually only if it serves their own interests. They might volunteer for a project that will make them look good, or offer a favor in the hopes of getting something in return. Their generosity is often conditional and self-serving, rather than genuine and altruistic.
15. They’re quick to judge people.
Self-centered people often have a critical and judgmental attitude towards pretty much everyone. They might gossip, spread rumors, or make snide comments about people behind their backs. They’re quick to point out people’s flaws and shortcomings, but rarely acknowledge their own imperfections.
16. They rarely compromise.
As Psychology Today notes, compromise is essential for healthy relationships, but self-centered people often struggle with it. They want things done their way, and they’re not willing to budge on their demands. They might dig their heels in and refuse to see things from another perspective, even when it would be in everyone’s best interest to find a middle ground.
17. They just can’t bring themselves to be happy for other people’s achievements.
When someone else achieves something great, a self-centered person might feel envious or resentful, rather than happy for them. They might downplay the accomplishment, change the subject, or try to one-up them with their own achievements. Their focus on themselves makes it difficult to genuinely share in other people’s joy.
18. They’re constantly comparing themselves to other people.
Self-centered people are often insecure and constantly comparing themselves to other people. They might feel threatened by people’s successes or feel inadequate if they don’t measure up. This comparison game can lead to unhealthy competition, jealousy, and a distorted sense of self-worth.
