18 Ways To Become Your Own Amazing Boyfriend

So you don’t have a boyfriend right now—so what? Stop waiting around and moping and start taking control over your life! There are many ways you can give yourself exactly what you would get from a relationship with someone else:

  1. Treat yourself to little gifts. Of course it’s nice to get thoughtful little presents that show someone is thinking of you, but start thinking of yourself and taking what you want from life. If you’ve been working hard and you feel like you deserve that special item you’ve been eyeing, go out and get it.
  2. Buy your own flowers. Flowers can brighten up a room, a whole house, and your entire day. It doesn’t matter where they came from. What matters is the empowerment and joy they bring you.
  3. Pamper yourself. You don’t need a guy to tell you that you deserve a relaxing day off from your regular grind. You’re the master of your own life—if you need a spa day, give yourself a spa day. If you need extra sleep, take it. Give yourself everything you need. Be your own best friend.
  4. Learn to protect yourself. If you feel like you need a big strong man around to keep you safe from harm, think again. Take the power into your own hands. Study self-defense. Learn a martial art. Do everything you can to ensure you feel safe and sound in your own skin on your own.
  5. Take yourself to dinner. So many people are afraid of being by themselves when they go out, but why? Who cares what anyone else thinks? If they have time to judge you for dining solo, they’re lame anyway. Go out, treat yourself to good food, and eat it as slowly and happily as you like.
  6. Go to movies alone. It can actually be really fun going to a movie by yourself. You get to eat all the popcorn. You don’t have to worry whether your partner is enjoying the selection or not. You never have to go see something terrible just because someone else wanted to see it. It’s pretty awesome.
  7. Take solo trips to places you want to see. Life is too short to wait around for a travel companion. If you want to see something, just go! It’s liberating to travel alone, plus you meet a ton of interesting people. Who knows, you might even meet an amazing guy that way. Anything can happen.
  8. Have your own cultural days out. Sometimes there’s nothing more enjoyable than spending a solo day exploring museums and art galleries. Listen to outdoor summer concerts. Attend dance parties. Experience everything that your city has to offer. Be confident in your solitude and it’ll never feel bad.
  9. Learn to listen to yourself. You’re used to relying on a partner to listen to you while you work things out for yourself. You can still listen to your gut without getting an opinion from another person. You just have to get intuitive and learn to tune in to what you truly and honestly need.
  10. Push your own limits. There is nothing more invigorating than accomplishing something you never thought you’d do and knowing that you did it all on your own. It’s nice to have support, but it’s frankly a boss move to be completely independent and get stuff done anyway. Be the queen you know you are.
  11. Get into new hobbies. You can try all kinds of new things on your own—you don’t need a partner in crime as a crutch! Just like traveling, you’ll be more available and open to new experiences and new people when you are alone. It’s fun to try new things with a boyfriend but it’s just as fun by yourself.
  12. Hold space for yourself. This is beyond important and one of the best things you can do for yourself when you’re acting as your own boyfriend. Own who you are. Understand that you have inherent value and worth. There is no one else like you. You don’t need a man to tell you that you are amazing. You know it already.
  13. Laugh at your mistakes – and learn from them. It’s okay to make mistakes – and even better, when you’re single, no one has to know! You can lighten the mood on your own – you don’t need anyone to do it for you. You have the space and the time to really think about what’s happened and learn how to prevent it next time.
  14. Take time to relax. You have no obligations to anyone, so allow yourself some lazy time. Stay in bed a little longer. Curl up and read a book. Enjoy the quiet moments of your life. There will be less time to indulge once you’re in a relationship again.
  15. Make your money and spend it how you like. This is the rad part of being your own boyfriend—you have total control over your finances and how you spend your dough. If you don’t want to go out for an expensive night on the town, you don’t have to! You certainly don’t have to split the cost of anything or buy presents you can’t really afford.
  16. Take yourself on vacation. Honestly, does it sound so bad to relax on the beach and drink mai tais alone? You can flirt with the cabana boys that way. Going on vacation alone is actually a ton of fun—plus, you can do whatever you want, whenever you want, however you want.
  17. Get what you want when you want it. You can say yes to yourself all the time—there’s no one to tell you no. You don’t have to compromise or change your plans when you are your own boyfriend. You can have it all and you will.
  18. Love yourself more than anyone else ever could. You’re going to get amazing benefits out of treating yourself like you are your own boyfriend, the best of which will be developing an immense sense of love and appreciation for who you are. Once you love yourself the way you want to be loved by another, you’ll never go back.
A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and Thought Catalog. Amy is the founder of What If Journey and can be found on Twitter @amyhorton18. You can also visit her website at amyhorton.net.