19 Things To Know Before Dating The Slightly Neurotic Girl

Being a neurotic woman is a struggle. Yes, we know we’re completely ridiculous at times, and in all honesty, sometimes we even have to laugh at ourselves at some of our absurdities. Living in a constant state of anxiety and perfectionism isn’t always as extreme as it sounds, but if you date us, you should know these things first:

  1. We overanalyze ALL the things.We accept nothing at face value. You tell us to “have a good day” and we’re trying to figure out and dissect what “good day” means.
  2. We don’t just “get colds” – we believe we’re actually dying.WebMD says coughing and a runny nose is a sign of cancer. So naturally, we have cancer. Basically, keep us away from the Internet.
  3. If you don’t answer calls or texts, we assume the worst.Did you get into an accident? Did you get kidnapped by the mob? Are you lying helpless in a gutter somewhere? The worst situations imaginable always come to the top of our heads.
  4. No, we can’t be late. For anything. Ever.We are always on time — always. We’re usually 15 minutes early, in fact. Don’t slow us down, or we’re leaving without you.
  5. Never ever call at 7 am, unless someone has died.If our phones ring early in the morning, we brace ourselves for the worst news ever. Just send us a “good morning” text instead, so we don’t start off our day with a mini heart attack.
  6. We’re organized AF.It’s not that we’re control freaks (well, maybe a little), but it’s just that we need to be supremely organized or we’ll go bananas.
  7. One word answers are dangerous.Never send just “K” as a text response. You’ve been warned.
  8. We’re extra meticulous about our health.Being slightly neurotic can actually work in our favor because just as we are naturally extra cautious about everything, we take pretty good care of our bodies and overall health too, because WebMD has instilled legitimate anxiety over the possible ways we can die.
  9. We carefully plan… everything.If we plan a trip together or anything in general, rest assured that we’ll have all our bases covered. We generally like to pick up the slack in this department.
  10. We’re very particular about our routine.We have a routine and we hate when it’s altered. Don’t kill our vibe.
  11. We have lists for everything.For groceries, for things to do today, for Christmas shopping eight months in advance… We have a list for lists.
  12. We’re extremely tidy people.If you’re messy and like to leave things dirty, GTFO.
  13. We actually torture ourselves after for any outbursts.If we ever blurt out an insult, we feel like crap about it and think about it constantly forever afterwards. We’re so sorry — genuinely.
  14. Noises in the night ALWAYS need to be investigated.Tip: if you’re the one in our bed, this will be your job from now on. It’s mandatory and part of the dating contract with us.
  15. We’ll constantly worry we left the stove and any other appliances on. Driving back home to make sure we’ve shut everything off properly is pretty much a weekly habit.
  16. A good day is literally THE BEST DAY EVER.If we’re having a good day, we’re so freaking happy and excited about it that we just can’t even stop expressing how awesome it really is.
  17. We’re overly cautious about everything and it’s not always so bad.Being overly cautious actually serves us well in a lot of ways. We make calculated choices to get the best possible results in every endeavor.
  18. We only associate ourselves with good people.Because we just don’t have time for all the unnecessary drama and flakes in the world, we only surround ourselves with people who are truly amazing and kind in our eyes. Hint – this means you too if you’re dating us.
  19. We’re actually deeply caring people. As much as we possess extreme characteristics and an overly anxious state of mind, we’re actually deeply caring people and we’re as meticulous about the well-being and happiness of our friends and all the people we care about in our lives. If you can forgive the neuroses, we’ll make you feel extremely loved and special in every way we can.