If you’ve ever had a run-in with a narcissist, you probably know that self-awareness and humility aren’t exactly on top of their list. As Psychology Today notes, people with narcissistic tendencies often find it difficult, if not impossible, to express vulnerability or admit fault. They tend to be experts at deflecting blame and taking credit without hesitation. So, what are the phrases you’re unlikely to hear from a narcissist? Read on to find out.
1. “You Deserve All The Credit.”
Giving credit to someone else without claiming a share for themselves is an alien concept to narcissists. Acknowledging someone else’s contributions or hard work without inserting their own involvement undermines their need to be seen as indispensable. Even in team efforts, they’re more likely to highlight their own role or downplay others’ contributions to ensure they remain in the spotlight.
When forced to acknowledge someone else’s achievements, they often find a way to reframe it as something they facilitated or influenced, as noted by Psych Central. Genuine, unselfish praise is rare because it shifts attention away from them. To them, credit is a limited resource, and giving it freely to others feels like a loss. Acknowledging another person’s independent success doesn’t align with their need to dominate the narrative.
2. “I Forgive You.”
Forgiveness requires emotional maturity, empathy, and the ability to let go of grievances—qualities that narcissists often lack, according to the National Library of Medicine. They may hold onto grudges or perceived slights as a way to maintain control over others. Forgiving someone would mean relinquishing their position of superiority and acknowledging that human relationships are built on mutual understanding and compassion, concepts that don’t fit well into their framework.
Instead of forgiving, they might use the situation as leverage to manipulate or guilt-trip others. Even when they claim to have forgiven, it’s often conditional or superficial, only offered to serve their agenda. Forgiveness, in its genuine form, represents a level of vulnerability and humility that a narcissist finds difficult to embrace. They tend to see it as giving away power rather than fostering peace or resolution.
3. “I’m Sorry; I Was Wrong.”
Narcissists have a hard time admitting they’re wrong, let alone apologizing for it. Admitting fault would mean acknowledging they’re not perfect, which doesn’t sit well with their inflated self-image. They’re more likely to twist the narrative to make it seem like they had no choice or that someone else made them do it. As the Newport Institute points out, their instinct is to gaslight and deflect even when confronted with undeniable evidence. To them, saying “sorry” is synonymous with weakness.
Instead, you’ll notice them diverting the conversation or finding a scapegoat. They might say something like, “I’m sorry you feel that way,” which isn’t an apology at all. It’s an attempt to turn the tables and make themselves the victim. Taking personal responsibility simply doesn’t fit into their worldview. So, a sincere apology? You’ll be waiting a long, long time.
4. “What Do You Think?”
Asking for someone else’s opinion requires acknowledging that other people’s thoughts have value. For a narcissist, this can be a real challenge since they often believe their perspective is the only one that matters, according to the National Library of Medicine. They love to be the center of attention and are typically more interested in telling you what they think rather than listening to your viewpoint. Their conversations are usually one-sided, with them doing most of the talking.
If they ever do ask for your opinion, it’s often a strategic move rather than a genuine interest. They might be trying to manipulate you into agreeing with them. Or perhaps they’re baiting you for a reaction they can later use against you. Either way, seeking out your opinion for its own sake isn’t something they’re known for. It’s their way or the highway.
5. “I Need Help.”
Needing help implies that they’re not all-powerful and all-knowing, which is a concept a narcissist can’t easily accept. They might see asking for help as an admission of weakness or incompetence. Instead, they prefer to maintain an image of self-reliance and invincibility, even if it’s just a facade. In situations where they’re clearly struggling, they might not hesitate to blame others for not stepping in.
When they do reach out, it’s often in a manipulative way, framing it as your duty to assist them rather than their need for help. This can make any interaction feel less like a mutual exchange and more like a burden placed on your shoulders. They may even express disdain for those who do seek help, as if needing assistance is somehow beneath them. This attitude can make it extremely difficult for them to grow or change. For a narcissist, asking for help is almost a foreign concept.
6. “I Was Inspired By Your Success.”
For a narcissist, acknowledging someone else’s success as a source of inspiration is nearly impossible. Admitting that someone else has qualities or achievements worth emulating would require them to step out of their self-centered worldview. They prefer to be seen as the source of inspiration, not the admirer. If they do acknowledge someone else’s success, it’s often with a dismissive remark or a backhanded compliment that minimizes the other person’s efforts or elevates their own role in it.
Even when they mimic or borrow ideas from others, they’re unlikely to admit it. Instead, they might present those ideas as their own or twist the narrative to suggest they were the true innovator all along. Recognizing inspiration from another person would challenge their self-image as the ultimate authority or role model, a role they fiercely guard. For them, being inspired by others is not a possibility—they see themselves as the source of greatness.
7. “I Care About Your Feelings.”
Narcissists often struggle to truly empathize with others. They may say they care about your feelings, but their actions tell a different story. Empathy requires stepping outside one’s own needs and considering someone else’s perspective, which doesn’t align with a narcissist’s self-centered world. They might feign empathy if they see it as beneficial to their agenda, but it’s rarely genuine.
Their lack of true concern for others’ emotions can leave people feeling unheard and unimportant. If you point out how their behavior affects you emotionally, they might dismiss or belittle your feelings. It can feel as though your emotions are just inconveniences to them, obstacles in their path to getting what they want. Often, they’ll believe that showing care is a sign of weakness. Empathy just isn’t their strong suit.
8. “I’m Proud Of You.”
While it might seem like a simple phrase, “I’m proud of you” is not something you’re likely to hear from a narcissist. Expressing pride in someone else’s achievements shifts the focus away from them. Narcissists thrive on being the center of attention and might feel threatened by others’ successes. They may even downplay your accomplishments to maintain their own superiority.
If they do recognize your achievements, it’s often laced with self-interest. They might take credit for your success or use it to boost their own image. Genuine pride in someone else’s achievements simply doesn’t fit their narrative. Instead, they might subtly undermine your accomplishments to reaffirm their own status. It’s all about keeping the spotlight on themselves.
9. “I’m Grateful.”
Expressing gratitude requires recognizing that others have contributed positively to their lives. For narcissists, this can be difficult because it suggests they aren’t solely responsible for their own achievements. They might see gratitude as an admission that they owe something to someone else or that they are somehow incomplete. Instead, they prefer to project an image of self-sufficiency.
If they do say “thank you,” it’s often perfunctory and lacks genuine appreciation. Their gratitude might be conditional, based on what more they can gain from you. Even the act of acknowledging someone else’s contributions can feel like a threat to their self-image. They tend to focus on what they can get, rather than what they’ve been given. Gratitude, for them, is a rare expression.
10. “I’m Happy For You.”
Expressing happiness for someone else’s success requires a level of empathy and selflessness that narcissists often lack. They may find it difficult to genuinely celebrate others’ accomplishments because it shifts attention away from them. Instead, they might feel envious or resentful, seeing someone else’s success as a threat to their own status. If they do acknowledge your achievements, it’s often through a forced smile and a backhanded compliment.
Their inability to be happy for others often stems from a deeply competitive nature. They might feel that your success somehow diminishes their own worth or importance. Rather than expressing genuine happiness, they may resort to highlighting their own accomplishments. Their need for validation often overrides any sense of genuine joy for someone else. For a narcissist, it’s challenging to put someone else’s feelings above their own.
11. “I’m Content With What I Have.”
The concept of being content often eludes narcissists because they are always striving for more admiration and validation. Contentment requires a level of self-awareness and satisfaction that they rarely possess. They’re often trapped in a cycle of needing more—more praise, more recognition, more status. This constant desire for more prevents them from appreciating what they currently have.
Even when they achieve something significant, the satisfaction is usually short-lived. They constantly compare themselves to others and focus on what they lack rather than what they have. This can make them seem perpetually dissatisfied and restless. They rarely pause to appreciate the present moment, always looking for the next big thing to feed their ego. Being content just doesn’t fit into their relentless quest for more.
12. “I’m Open To Change.”
Narcissists are often resistant to change because it requires them to step outside their comfort zone and alter the self-image they’ve carefully constructed. Admitting a need for change suggests that they’re not perfect, which contradicts their inflated sense of self. They’re more likely to believe that others need to change to accommodate them. This can make them seem inflexible and unwilling to grow.
Even when they face negative consequences due to their behavior, they may stubbornly stick to their old ways. Adapting to new circumstances is often seen as a threat rather than a challenge. Their resistance can be frustrating for those around them who recognize the need for change. Rather than embracing new ideas, they often cling to familiar patterns. For a narcissist, change is often something to be avoided.
13. “I Respect Your Boundaries.”
Respecting someone else’s boundaries requires recognizing their autonomy and needs, which can be challenging for a narcissist. They tend to see others as extensions of themselves, often disregarding personal boundaries. Their need for control and validation can lead them to overstep limits without a second thought. They might view boundaries as obstacles to getting what they want.
If you try to enforce your boundaries, they might react defensively or dismissively. They might accuse you of being unreasonable or overly sensitive. Rather than respecting your limits, they see it as a challenge to overcome. Their behavior often prioritizes their needs over others, leading to frequent boundary violations. Recognizing and respecting boundaries simply doesn’t align with their self-centered perspective.
14. “I’m Willing To Compromise.”
Compromise requires a willingness to consider others’ needs and find a middle ground, which narcissists often find difficult. They tend to prioritize their own desires and may view compromise as a sign of weakness. Instead of negotiating, they might try to enforce their own terms or manipulate the situation to their advantage. Their need for control often overrides any inclination to meet halfway.
Even when a compromise is clearly in their best interest, they might stubbornly cling to their position. This can lead to a stalemate where progress is impossible. Rather than seeing compromise as a way to resolve conflict, they might view it as a loss. Their interactions often become a battle of wills rather than a collaborative process. For a narcissist, compromise is seen as a defeat.
15. “I Take Full Responsibility.”
Taking responsibility requires recognizing and admitting one’s mistakes, which can be a tough pill for a narcissist to swallow. They often prefer to deflect blame onto others, refusing to acknowledge their role in a situation. Admitting fault suggests that they aren’t perfect, which contradicts their carefully crafted self-image. Instead, they might twist the facts to make themselves appear the victim.
Even when confronted with irrefutable evidence, they might deny or minimize their involvement. Their need to maintain a superior image often prevents them from taking accountability. They might employ tactics like gaslighting to shift the blame elsewhere. Acknowledging their mistakes is simply not part of their playbook. Responsibility, for them, is something to be avoided at all costs.
