You’re totally obsessed with a new guy and every minute you don’t hear from him is like total agony. You’re scrolling through social media, playing games on your phone, and doing everything possible to try and distract yourself from thinking about him. Then you see that texting bubble on your screen and know he’s about to message you. Chances are, these are some of the thoughts that go through your head.
- OMG, it’s happening. You might have been waiting all day or even all for this text and the anticipation has been growing. Your heart is beating a hundred times a minute. He’s finally messaging you! It’s about damn time.
- I’m so excited. You’re starting to refine your emotional response a little more here, and you remember how you feel when you’re with that person who’s texting you. You haven’t even read what he has to say yet and you’re already getting mega excited.
- Ugh, I have to pee. Oops — the excitement has now swiftly transitioned into nervousness. It’s natural and inevitable, but we all have to go through texting anxiety, particularly when we really care about the person we’re talking to.
- Ffffuuuuuuuuuucccckkkkk. Ahh – this is the trigger point. You realize now that you need to respond at some point and you’re not sure how to proceed. Panic is natural, so don’t worry. Just keep focusing on the positive.
- Am I the only one he’s talking to? Often our anxieties will set us on a toxic path of asking questions that might not actually be true. Our brains aren’t our friends in these situations, because they race ahead and leave the rest of you in the present, still panicking about that texting bubble. You haven’t even seen the text yet and you’re already worrying about signing your divorce papers.
- What should I say? This is a huge question. It’s often not a question you can answer alone and that’s okay. One perspective isn’t enough when men and texting are involved. This is a universal fact.
- Will I be funny enough? I know sometimes it’s fun to look over previous messages and realize how funny and witty you both are. But, with that comes some pressure to actually repeat that. It can feel like there’s pressure to keep someone interested with your sheer power of wit. That’s not really the case, but if your only communication is texting, it can feel like a lot.
- Is he really into me? It’s only when you’re looking at his text bubble that you really start to overthink things. Your doubt will start to set in and it can be hard to separate the known facts from sheer speculation. Focus on what you do know: he’s texting you back because he’s interested in you.
- Did he mean that? Nothing good comes from trying to interpret every word and inflection from men, particularly over the phone. They often don’t mean things intentionally, but can equally reveal parts of their inner thoughts unconsciously. It’s hard, but get a second pair of eyes on your texts from this guy to make sure you’re worrying over nothing.
- How can I keep the conversation going? It’s not just about being funny or dropping a cool one-liner. You also need to think strategically when you see that texting bubble. Have patience. It’s like sending the first message on Tinder — you just have to be creative.
- Should I use a meme? It’s always hard to read what the precise vibe of a text conversation is. Usually, memes are a good thing to deploy into the conversation because it keeps things moving and keeps things light. However, memes aren’t everyone’s cup of tea, so proceed with caution.
- Should I tell him about my day? Small talk might seem like small fry in the context of dating conversations, but that’s not always the case. For example, it’s a good way of keeping things flowing, as well as learning about someone. You can’t go straight in and ask about his childhood trauma without figuring out what he does for a living anyway.
- What should I ask him? Before you know someone properly, it’s hard to know what questions they will be willing to ask. When you see that texting bubble, just remember that it’s okay to ask about their boundaries or to just check in and ask if it’s cool to talk about a certain topic, if that’s something you’re worried about.
- How can I get him to like me? This thought shows our vanity, and it’s a thought that we all have when we see that texting bubble. But, as it is, he’s interested in you because he’s texting you, so you’re already halfway there. Just be yourself.
- He’s dreamy. Pause in panicked thoughts to daydream about him. This is natural. Allocate 10 to 15 minutes for this essential task. It’s what all this work is for!
- He must like me! This is the phase of your thought process where you realize that hey, maybe he does like me! It may be a fleeting recognition, but at least you will have the confidence going forward.
- What do I do now? This is the moment of renewed panic where you look back on all your mistakes with other exes or failed talking stages. Don’t blame yourself, just look to the future with hope and clarity. Whatever you do, you will do what’s right. Take the pressure off.
- Is he the one? While we’re panicking, why not introduce a moment of blinding optimism? Is it realistic? Maybe not. But is it still fun to daydream about the future when you see that texting bubble? Absolutely.
- I have to tell [insert BFF’s name] about this. This is essential for the next stage of your internal process: replying. For now, get your friends ready to be deployed to assist you in your courtship.
