The desire to cyber stalk your ex can be intense but it’s definitely possible to pump the brakes and do something else instead. Here are a few suggestions if you’re struggling with the overwhelming desire to find out what your former partner is up to these days.
- Make a new dating profile. Only do this if you’re feeling ready. If you and your partner just broke up, maybe skip to the next one. It can be fun to make a new profile when you’re excited to get back out there and meet new people. Spruce up your old favs or download a new app. You never know who you might meet.
- Think about the reasons you broke up. Run through the thoughts in your mind about why you and your ex aren’t together anymore. What happened? Why did you break up? Keep those answers in the forefront of your mind—they can be a sobering reminder of why you want nothing to do with them anymore.
- Jam to emotion-appropriate music. If you feel like you’re angry or you want to get angry, jam to that kind of music. If you’re super sad and you just want to cry your eyes out, do that. Jam to whatever’s going to help your mood. It’s cathartic AF.
- Do some serious spring cleaning on your place. Cleaning may seem like a drag but the end product is worth it. You can even turn up the music and jam while you do the cleaning. Having a clean, bright, open living space will do wonders for your mental and emotional state so it’s time well spent.
- Pick up extra work or get a side hustle going. Don’t go too crazy with this one. Only do it if you know you can handle it and it’ll positively benefit your life. It’s nice to temporarily throw yourself into work so your mind is occupied, and you also get to save up some extra cash for a big ticket item you’ve been coveting or a vacation you’ve been wanting to take. Win-win!
- Spend time with people who love you. I know that the mind can spin out of control constantly, but sometimes being around people who love you means being a safe haven where you’re temporarily relieved from the thinking.
- Stalk a celebrity instead. See what Shawn Mendes is up to. If he isn’t your style, check out another celebrity who is. Creep on them hard and see what they’re up in their life. This won’t get you into any trouble and it’s totally harmless. What’s not to love?
- Do the thing you’ve been wanting to do but put off during your relationship. You know that thing (or things) that you’ve been wanting to do forever? Maybe it’s taking a class or to doing a DIY project. Maybe you want to learn a new language or how to play an instrument. Whatever it is, do that thing! Don’t waste any more time, just jump in.
- Browse for inspiration on IG. Check out hashtags that bring you strength like #ladypower or #feministAF. Browse all of the photos that strong women are posting to bring you inspiration while you’re down. A little positive energy can go a long way.
- Write in a journal. Writing in a journal may not be for everybody but it’s definitely for some. Whether or not you’re a regular journaler, it can be helpful to just get your thoughts out of your head and onto paper. It can bring you out of a heightened emotional state and give you a little perspective as well.
- Have a Netflix binge. Hey, there’s nothing wrong with lots of Netflix, especially if it’s helping you avoid stalking your ex. Put on a show that you just adore and let yourself get lost in it.
- Bake or cook something delicious. Open up the classic Pinterest recipes you’ve pined over in the past. Pick one to try, no matter how simple or hard. Give it a shot. Get into the cooking and savor what you make. There’s no better feeling than sitting down for a delicious meal you made yourself.
- Delete pictures of the two of you. If you’re still hanging on to those beach pictures because you just can’t bring yourself to delete them, it’s time. Ask a friend to help you if you need to but for the love of God, let them go!
- Meditate. This one isn’t for everyone, but if you’re down to give it a shot, there are tons of guided meditations online. Or, you can just focus on your breathing. Even 10 minutes of meditation a day can have amazing effects on your overall well-being.
- Listen to an uplifting podcast. Whatever your flavor, there’s a podcast for anyone. You can listen to one that’s scientific, political, religious, and more. Turn up the volume on the podcast and turn down the volume in your mind.
- Play a game on your phone. There’s no shame in playing a game or five on your phone. Ask your friends for suggestions or play one that you already have. It’ll take your mind off your desire to stalk that ex.
- Take a nap. Sometimes tapping out from the world and just letting your head hit the pillow for a while is all you need to feel better. Try taking a quick (or long) nap and see if that hits the restart button.
- Get a haircut. Maybe don’t go too overboard with this one by doing something you’ll regret, but it can be fun to switch things up. Change your bangs and relish in the fact that you’re a new you.
- Unfriend, unfollow, and block your ex. Most importantly, cut off the ways that you can see their profile. Unfollow on Twitter and Insta and unfriend on Facebook. Even take it one step further to block so that you can’t creep.
