20 “Boring” Relationship Activities I Love Because They Heighten Intimacy

I feel close to my boyfriend after great sex or a heartfelt chat but in a long-term relationship, there are always new ways to be intimate. Here are 20 that might sound weird to single people but that long-term couples will totally get!

  1. Going grocery shopping Buying broccoli and toilet paper might sound boring AF, but doing something really ordinary can turn out to be fun. I love the spontaneous things that happen, like people-watching or finding common ground when choosing ice cream flavors. “You love chocolate-caramel, too? OMG!”
  2. Cleaning the house Yes, it’s a chore, but it’s working on something together while washing windows and mopping the floor. It’s also the perfect time for an impromptu sing-a-thon.
  3. Sharing medical issues It can be embarrassing to show my boyfriend a weird mole or talk to him about how my stomach’s gone haywire after that spicy food we ate for dinner, but it’s also cool to get so personal with someone. It’s a show of trust while gaining support, IMHO.
  4. Remembering each other’s to-do lists Asking my boyfriend to remember that I need to go to the bank or reminding him where he left his wallet feels like something straight out of an elderly couple’s diary, but I like it! Sometimes there’s real closeness in the trivial details.
  5. Dressing the same They say that long-term couples start to become clones of each other, and this is so true! It’s funny when I’m wearing blue and it turns out my boyfriend is too, but it’s also fun. It’s like we’re a team.
  6. Staying in and watching movies When we’re cuddled up in bed watching a brilliant thriller instead of hitting the town, it’s awesome. We get to touch, kiss, and hold each other—perfect for releasing endorphins.
  7. Having comfortable silences Reading books together in the same room without talking to each other is a new level of closeness. It’s great to be able to sit with my boyfriend and do something we both love while sharing it on some level in a comfortable way. Plus, there’s always the chance to read well-written paragraphs to each other out loud. So romantic!
  8. Not caring about appearances Long-term relationships are perfect for getting into something a little more comfortable. I’m not talking sexy lingerie but baggy tracksuits! No, really. It might sound boring to look like that in front of a romantic boyfriend, but it screams, “I’m so comfortable with you, I can just be myself.”
  9. Chatting about stupid things In the early days of dating, it’s common to try to be mysterious and focus on talking to your boyfriend about important things. In long-term relationships, the game changes! I love chatting about totally idiotic things that really don’t matter, like if Batman or Superman is the better superhero. Sometimes being silly together is the best way to bond and learn about each other.
  10. Buying each other stupid gifts There are gifts I know my boyfriend will love, and then there are totally random, silly gifts that are given just for the fun of it. People who aren’t in relationships might think it’s pointless, but it’s so much fun and says, “This cute teddy bear in curlers made me think of you.”
  11. Texting each other from inside the house It’s not lazy—it’s practical! I sort of miss the rush of texting when I’m in a long-term relationship, so this is an easy way to keep the textual chemistry alive.
  12. Singing to pets Creating crazy, hilarious songs for pets is such fun. No, I promise I’m not on drugs! It’s a totally different bonding experience because we’re singing about a furry family member we both love. Awww.
  13. Pigging out togetherForget daintily eating a salad on a date. Long-term relationships are about vegging out! I love it when my boyfriend and I run to the store to pick up some chocolate or cake and then stuff our faces at the end of a busy day. Who needs booze to bond?
  14. Sharing embarrassing snaps Showing each other cringe-worthy AF photos from the past is so embarrassing, but it’s also an ego boost to hear my boyfriend calling me “cute” when I was really just a dorky kid. The activity is really about getting real and raw—letting out my secrets and being loved for who I am, embarrassing moments included.
  15. Taking a shower without having sex Having a shower together is intimate, no intercourse required. Washing each other is also a form of taking care of each other.
  16. Sharing skincare products “Hey, honey, have you got some of that lip balm I love?” Sharing is caring, and in a long-term relationship, I love when what’s mine is my boyfriend’s and vice versa. Okay, there are some things that shouldn’t be shared, like toothbrushes, but skincare items are fair game. It also saves money. Just saying.
  17. Using the toilet in front of him I don’t think it’s bad to pee in front of my boyfriend. It isn’t a sign the mystery’s gone. It’s a sign we’re comfortable and free. That’s a good thing! Although, I draw the line at doing anything more than peeing.
  18. Having a tried-and-tested sexual position It’s good to try new things in the sack, but if they fail I can always go back to that one sexual move or position that always does it for me. Having a “guaranteed to satisfy” sexual position shows me how well my boyfriend knows my body and what pleases me.
  19. Reading his mind Whenever I finish my boyfriend’s sentences or know exactly what he’s thinking just by looking at him, it doesn’t feel like we’re boring, it feels like we know each other so well, we don’t always need words.
  20. Buying each other clothing I love clothes and I love buying clothes for loved ones. Giving my boyfriend yet another beanie or socks for winter might sound boring, but it’s a show of love. Plus, this activity can get saucy with buying more intimate items, like when he buys me lingerie. Ooh la la!
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.