20 Major Relationship Turn-Offs That Will Destroy A Couple

It’s always a great feeling when you’re in a serious relationship with someone that you really care about. As happy as you might be together, there are still some things that you have to be careful about as you settle into this new relationship. Our fears, anxieties, and insecurities can cause us to do some pretty crazy things that might completely alienate our partners. Here’s a list of big turn-offs that could ruin your relationship if you’re not careful.

  1. Extreme jealousy Jealousy can be a huge turn-off in relationships, especially if it’s extreme or over the top. It’s normal to become jealous if you think your partner is giving time or attention to someone else on a regular and consistent basis. However, if your jealousy is stemming from simple things like your partner spending time with their family or close friends on an occasional basis, you may need to take a step back and look at why you’re feeling this way. Communicate to your partner how you feel, however, know that if you can’t get a handle on your jealousy, it could present some serious problems in your relationship.
  2. Controlling behavior A controlling partner is a huge turn-off to most people. Even though you’re in a committed relationship, you have to understand that you and your partner are both still individual people and deserve the autonomy that entails. It’s okay for you or your partner to do things without the other every now and then. In fact, it can be extremely healthy for you to have your own time. If you or your partner has a very controlling nature when you have to know where your partner is and what they’re doing every minute of the day and you also feel that you have a right to dictate those things, tread carefully. This could be a major downfall for your relationship.
  3. An obsession with exes We’ve all been through past relationships and it can be difficult to resist comparing your current relationship to a past one, especially if that past relationship was serious or long-term. When you’re in a new relationship, enjoy being with that person and experiencing everything with them for the first time without comparing them to any of your exes. Avoid talking about your exes with your new partner. Who cares? That relationship is over. It’s in the past. There’s no reason to bring it up. If you still can’t stop obsessing over your ex, that is going to leak into your new relationship and could destroy it if you’re not careful.
  4. Lack of sympathy When we’re going through something difficult, it’s normal to lean on our partners for comfort and relief. If you are a partner or you have a partner that isn’t very comforting or sympathetic towards your significant other’s needs and issues, this could be the death of your relationship. When you truly love someone and care for them, you should care about what they’re going through. Their pain should bring you pain and if it doesn’t affect you at all, maybe take a look at the relationship and evaluate if you’re with the right person or in it for the right reasons.
  5. Being unsupportive of goals and dreams A good partner supports their significant other’s dreams and goals. In an unhealthy relationship, you or your partner might feel threatened by the other attempting to achieve success or better things in life. If you or your partner feels the need to sabotage or guilt the other into giving up on goals, that could be a big issue that potentially destroys your relationship.
  6. Overly Clinginess Clinginess is a huge issue in relationships that can tear couples apart. If you feel the need to constantly be by your partner’s side and know what they’re doing every second of the day without giving them any personal space or freedom of their own, that could be a huge problem. The same thing goes for if your partner acts that way with you. Everyone needs their own space every once in a while and if you or your partner can’t respect that, it could be the death of your relationship.
  7. Gaslighting This is the act of a person convincing another person that they are overreacting or acting “crazy” when their feelings about something are completely justified. Gaslighting is a popular tactic when someone wants to avoid accountability for their actions. If you or your partner tends to try to place blame on the other person to avoid having to admit fault in a given situation, this is a huge problem that will ultimately ruin your relationship.
  8. Emotional manipulation Emotional manipulation is another behavior that is completely unacceptable in any form but unfortunately exists in so many relationships. Emotional manipulation is similar to guilt-tripping. If you notice that your partner tends to make you feel bad for doing something that they don’t want you to do whether that’s hanging out with friends or family, making a decision they’re not happy with, etc., that is emotional manipulation and should not be tolerated. You should not ever emotionally manipulate your partner either. This is a surefire way to kill the trust and love in your relationship and it’s also one of the biggest turn-offs.
  9. Passive-aggressive behavior This is another form of manipulation and can be extremely damaging to a relationship. If your partner tends to stonewall you or act cold and freeze you out when they’re upset instead of communicating their feelings, it’s not only immature but it accomplishes nothing. Both of you need to be upfront with each other and tell one another how you feel because that is the only way you will overcome issues and have a chance at your relationship succeeding.
  10. Lack of physical affection Physical intimacy is very important in relationships. While physical touch can be more important to some people than others, it doesn’t change the fact that it’s an important part of every romantic relationship. If one of the people in the relationship is withholding physical affection or just isn’t willing to be affectionate, it could end up hurting your relationship in the long run.

More relationship turn-offs to beware of

  1. Laziness within the relationship Relationships require effort from both people. If you or your partner neglect the other in ways such as forgetting important dates or never doing anything special for the other person, this could start to create issues within your relationship. Everyone wants to feel special, loved, and cherished by their partner and if one of you isn’t willing to do that, there’s a possibility that the person that’s feeling neglected will go find someone who will do those things.
  2. Lack of excitement When you start to get serious with someone, it’s only natural to become excited about the future and all of the things that you have to look forward to. If one person in the relationship refuses to be excited and just doesn’t want to participate in any planning or even fantasizing about the future, it’s hard to believe there’s a future in the relationship at all. Both people have to want it.
  3. Putting in zero effort If you are living with your partner, there are a lot of serious things that come up with cohabitating. You’re sharing finances and responsibilities. You both need to make a conscious effort to keep a happy and healthy home. One person shouldn’t be expected to take care of all of the responsibilities such as cooking, cleaning, shopping, paying for things, etc. If you or your partner doesn’t put in any or much effort in helping with these things, it’s only a matter of time before the other starts to feel resentment and anger.
  4. Being rude to friends and family The special people in your life, whether it’s family or friends, are so important to your life and it’s important that your partner meshes well with them. Unfortunately, there are times when your partner might not get along with all of your friends or family. It’s understandable if their personalities don’t mesh well but your partner should never be outright rude to the people that you care about. They need to have respect for them and at least try to get along with them or there’s no future for your relationship.
  5. Lack of communication Communication is key to a healthy and strong relationship. Both you and your partner need to be very communicative about everything including your feelings, the things you want for the future, things that bother you within your relationship, your worries, your anxieties, all of that. If one or both of you isn’t open to communicating your feelings, your relationship most likely will not get to a level where you can truly move forward together.
  6. No accountability Fights and arguments are bound to happen in any relationship but the most important part is that both of you take accountability seriously and own up to your mistakes. If someone in a relationship refuses to admit fault and won’t take responsibility for their words and actions, there’s no way your relationship will succeed.
  7. Flirting with others or Cheating Obviously, cheating is a breakup-worthy offense but a lot of people make excuses for their partner flirting with other people and that just isn’t acceptable. If your partner talks to other people, is sneaky about who they hang out with or goes so far as to lie to you about their relationships with other people, there’s no way your relationship will stand the test of time. You deserve someone who is devoted to you.
  8. Nagging This can really get under someone’s skin to the point where it causes serious problems within a relationship. Sure, there are times when nagging is justified but you also have to pick your battles with your partner and decide what’s really worth nagging them over. If there are little, small things that you’d like to change, express that to them once or twice but try to refrain from bringing it up every day. Leave it up to them to change and if they don’t, then you can decide what your next step is.
  9. Lack of motivation or ambition It can be difficult in a relationship when one person is very focused and works hard towards their goals and dreams and the other doesn’t seem to have any ambition or aspirations. If you or your partner seems to be lazy and don’t have goals that you’re working towards, you have to be prepared that this could cause some problems for your relationship.
  10. Lack of authenticity It’s hard to really connect with someone if you feel like they’re putting up a front or acting fake. Relationships require honesty and if you don’t have honesty, you can’t build trust. If your partner isn’t being authentic and real with you, or if you’re not being real with them, there may not be a future in the cards for the two of you.
Shelby is a journalist and fiction writer raised in the South but built for the big city. She's a book nerd (well, an overall nerd, honestly) and coffee addict and obsessed with all things leather and lacy.

She has a bachelor’s degree in Mass Communication and Media Studies from Sam Houston State University and worked for her university newspaper, The Houstonian, as well as serving as a producer and part-time entertainment anchor for Cable 7 Huntsville. You can follow her on Twitter @shelby777.