20 Moments When You Realize You Dodged A Relationship Bullet

20 Moments When You Realize You Dodged A Relationship Bullet ©iStock/oneinchpunch

Breaking up with a boyfriend can be hard as hell, and it often makes you wonder whether you actually did the right thing. Maybe he was “The One,” or maybe you could have done something a little better to keep his interest, right? Wrong. In time, you might find that you dodged a major bullet by having him out of your life. Here are 20 moments that make you realize you’re way better off without him:

  1. He tries to get you to sleep with him post-breakup when he’s in a relationship with someone else. Yep, this means that you just dodged being the one who will be getting cheated on. Do his current girl a favor and tell her so that she can dodge that bullet, too.
  2. You find out he was arrested for a violent crime. Just remember, you could have dated this guy, dealt with police questioning or even been a victim of his violent behavior. If you find out something like this, you didn’t just dodge a bullet — you pulled a Matrix!
  3. Five years later, he’s broke. Think of it this way: you could have ended up having to play his Sugar Mama.
  4. He reaches out to you because he needs a job reference. This is just pathetic on so many levels, and if he is in a position bad enough to do this, you can make sure that you’re far better off without him.
  5. He lashes out at you, screams at you, hits you or threatens you. The minute you begin walking away from men who are entitled, violent and hateful enough to do this is the minute that you actually begin taking your life back. Guys who start lashing out after a breakup are guys who should never be near women.
  6. You later find out he went crazy. If he ends up being on the news for something insane that he did, it’s safe to say that you dodged a cannonball.
  7. Someone who dates him later admits that things aren’t as happy as they seem. More often than not, bad habits in relationships don’t just end after the original relationship finishes. If anything, bad relationships habits worsen. If you notice his subsequent girlfriends are miserable, it’s a good sign you lucked out by getting away.
  8. You realize he didn’t have any interests BUT you. At first this seems like it’s a pretty good thing… until you realize how suffocating being in a relationship with him can be. Take a breath and enjoy your newfound freedom.
  9. He left you for someone else. There’s an old adage that really covers this: “If he’ll cheat on you, he’ll cheat on her, too.”
  10. In a weird way, you feel better and calmer now that he’s out of your life. This is a sign that you should have broken up a long time ago and that you were pretty miserable with him. That calmness and happiness you feel is a sign that he really wasn’t right for you, and that prolonging that relationship would have only caused pain.
  11. His friends are still cool with you. Usually, this doesn’t happen. If it does, it means that his boys probably liked you more than they liked him. What does that say about this ex of yours?
  12. You don’t have anything in common with him, anyway. Sometimes he’s a great guy, but it just doesn’t work out. It’s still a bullet dodged. What would you two be able to talk about in 10 years from now? Probably nothing.
  13. You weren’t his priority until you left. When this happens, it’s clear that you would have spent a lifetime of loneliness and neglect with this loser. Bullet. Dodged.
  14. His parents drove you two apart. If this was the reason why you two broke up, then it’s clear that you never were going to have the respect you deserve in a relationship. Unless you would have been okay with his parents dictating every part of your life, you dodged a bullet.
  15. You broke it off because he was moving way too fast. This is usually a bad sign on multiple fronts. It’s safe to assume it’s better to be single than to be with someone who most likely had ulterior motives or emotional issues.
  16. You suddenly have a lot more money. Generally speaking, your financial health can tell a lot about your life. If you’re doing well, you will have more money. If you have a lot more money after he broke up with you, it’s safe to say he was not good for you.
  17. Your friends are happy you two broke up. Sometimes, it’s wise to listen to the wisdom of your friends. This is one of those times.
  18. You felt really taken for granted or used. Trust your gut on this one. You deserve better than to live life being someone else’s wallet/maid/servant.
  19. The sex sucked or was too infrequent. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: life is too short for crappy sex.
  20. The only time he actually tried to keep you was when he realized you were serious about leaving. This isn’t how healthy relationships work. If he only cared that you were unhappy after you left, you deserve way better than this jackass.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a New Jersey based writer and editor with bylines in Mashed, Newsbreak, Good Men Project, YourTango, and many more. She’s also the author of a safe travel guide for LGBTQIA+ people available on Amazon.

She regularly writes on her popular Medium page and posts on TikTok and Instagram @ossianamakescontent.