20 Pet Peeves Of The Perpetually Single Girl

20 Pet Peeves Of The Perpetually Single Girl ©iStock/gremlin

Being single for a long time yields a number of struggles that those who are lucky enough to be taken don’t know about (or at least can’t relate to at the moment). It sucks, and life can be even more obnoxious than usual if you’ve been rolling solo for a while. If you’ve been single long-term, you can probably relate to these pet peeves:

  1. Dealing with losers who keep asking why you’re single. “Oh, I don’t know, because I could be Queen Victoria and still not get a man? Are you trying to make me feel crappy?” Seriously, why do people ask this? There’s no possible way for this to turn out well for anyone involved in the conversation.
  2. The dire lack of good men. Commitment-ready men with good careers, a deep interest in their partners, and good sex drives just don’t exist in great numbers. The current dating pool is closer to a cesspool than society would like to admit.
  3. The stupidity of so many single people. It often feels like any other single person you meet is a trainwreck, a moron, or a jackass. At times, the crappiness of the dating scene may even make you feel as if you’re stuck on some botched version of the Island of Broken Toys.
  4. The awful, awful dates. Being single for a long time means that you’ve also probably weathered some pretty horrible first dates. Even if a few have gone OK, somewhere along the line, you’ve probably regretted spending that much time with a loser or two.
  5. People who play Cupid. For some reason, people who try to play matchmaker seem to have a natural knack for choosing the worst possible pairings. Next time, you’ll just pair yourself off with a cactus. The plant has as much personality and as much huggability as the last guy they set you up with, anyway.
  6. Wondering if you should lower your standards. Hint: You shouldn’t.
  7. The pain and jealousy of being the only single person in your friend group. The words “bring a date” make you want to cry. If it’s really bad, you might not even be able to go to weddings, simply because you’re so worried that you’d cause a scene out of unbelievable jealousy. It happens more often than you think.
  8. Having people tell you that your standards are too high. This is extremely rude. Why do people do this? Do they honestly think this will make you happy, or that it’s a good idea?
  9. Having potential dates refuse to compromise on anything. These same dates also wonder why they’re single, and why you’d rather be alone than with them. Well, they’re the answer to their own question.
  10. Guys who think you’re easy because you’re single. Well, it’s not like they’re getting laid with that attitude. Even so, it’s annoying as hell.
  11. People asking when you’re going to get a boyfriend. “Oh, I don’t know. Let me pencil that in… Please, do tell me where I’m supposed to pick one of these up. Are they available for a discount at Walmart? If I can’t find one worth a damn there, can we import one?”
  12. Feeling desperation sink in. It happens to us all. Can I get an amen?
  13. Being the third wheel. It happens, even when it’s not supposed to happen. It’s awkward, but what can ya do? You don’t have someone with you, but you can’t just hide away in your apartment until a boyfriend materializes.
  14. Being unable to talk about your boyfriend while all your friends talk about theirs. “My boyfriend does this totally adorbs thing where he doesn’t exist… He does it all the time. Haha!”
  15. Having to skip through articles geared at people in relationships. You can’t help that the advice in those columns don’t apply to your current situation. Do there have to be so many of them, though?!
  16. Getting crappy advice from friends. Just because someone is in a relationship doesn’t mean that they’re actually offering good advice. In fact, most of the time, the advice that you’re given by a taken person is trite garbage that doesn’t actually mean anything.
  17. Being asked why you want a relationship. Not one person actually seems to understand what you’re going through as a perennially single person until it happens to them directly. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a relationship, and yet if you tell this to people, they look at you as if you’re the most desperate human being on the planet.
  18. Being asked why you don’t want a relationship. This is the flip side question to the classic, “Why do you want a relationship so badly anyway?” For some reason, people just can’t accept you being single one way or the other, even if you’re loving it.
  19. Having guy friends tell you what a “great girl” you are. “Really? Then why wouldn’t you date me, a-hole?” They don’t mean to make it sound hurtful, but when guys say that they want a girl just like you, it’s very hard to restrain yourself from cursing them out at times.
  20. Having to fend off weirdos. It’s a lot harder when you don’t have a guy who can beat the snot out of them. Some even ask for proof when you say you have a boyfriend. Argh!
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a New Jersey based writer and editor with bylines in Mashed, Newsbreak, Good Men Project, YourTango, and many more. She’s also the author of a safe travel guide for LGBTQIA+ people available on Amazon.

She regularly writes on her popular Medium page and posts on TikTok and Instagram @ossianamakescontent.