It’s amazing how little we all communicate about and during sex despite the fact that most of us have been sexually active for quite a while now. It makes no sense. These are some of the many things clueless guys think we’re into because they never bother to ask first.
- Laser focus on two specific areas of our bodies This is such an amateur move and yet most guys we’ve been with have all done the same thing—only given attention to our boobs and vag. Seriously? Newsflash: porn isn’t real life.
- Wham, bam, thank you ma’am Yeah, quickies are hot and fun once in a while, but not all the time and not when we’re first dating. We want to know that a guy wants to get to know us and what we actually like.
- Spanking Some of us don’t mind it or anything, but it doesn’t turn most of us on and a dude needs to ask first. We hate it when suddenly out of nowhere our butts are stinging from a slap—it’s jarring and completely takes us out of the moment.
- Slobbery oral OH MY GOD, THIS IS THE WORST. Stop drooling all over us! It’s weird and saliva definitely does not make up for crappy technique. Guys need to figure out what he’s doing or get away from us.
- Constant dirty talk It makes us feel icky. If a guy needs constant dialogue in order to get off, he’s watching way too much porn and he’s not actually connected to us or his sexuality on any mature level. It’s an instant red flag.
- Violent hair pulling Look, some of us like getting our hair pulled a bit, but not ripped out of our heads. If a guy gets so caught up in the moment that he can’t even pay attention to the force with which he’s handling us, then he needs to get out of our bed.
- Bruises One guy I dated used to leave fingerprint bruises on my arms. At the time I thought it was sexy—now I think it’s a little weird and disrespectful. Again, there needs to be an established understanding between us before a guy gets that rough.
- Elaborate sexy clothing We don’t mind making some extra effort to turn our guys on but at some point, it’s just too much. We don’t want to have to wear a million different weird uncomfortable things because then we’re no longer turned on!
- Weird positions that aren’t actually fun We love variety, don’t get us wrong. It’s just that when the position is so strenuous or complicated that the sex itself suffers, it’s no longer hot. We’d rather go back to some old faithful standbys.
- To always dominate Ugh. Yes, we’re strong women with strong personalities. No, that doesn’t mean our sexual partners always get to lay back and make no effort during sex! We hate that! We actually like it when a guy takes control because that doesn’t happen much.
- Endless marathon sex sessions I used to date a guy who wanted to have sex for hours on end and it was the worst. It wasn’t hot in the least—and eventually, it got painful and I would have to force him to stop. Note to self: no more sex addicts…
- Endless oral sex Honestly, if a guy has to be down there that long, he’s not doing it right. Women don’t want dudes to spend their lives with their faces between our legs. We want him to do a good job, get us off, and move on.
- To be treated like an object All we can figure out is that guys MUST think we want this because so many of them do it. Either that or they just don’t give a damn about us and our wants, needs, who we are… ugh.
- Silence Just as we don’t enjoy weird continuous porn talk, we also don’t want men who are deadly quiet. So awkward. It makes us feel weird about making noise, plus we’re not even sure if a silent guy has finished or not—and who wants to ask?
- Sexy music Do people still do this? There’s no music that will actually get us in the mood—it’s more likely to make us laugh. If guys think they’re actually being super smooth and suave, it’ll just make us roll our eyes.
- Immediate post-sex cleanup Such a buzzkill. We had sex—it gets messy. We find it super weird to do something that intimate and then worry about jumping out of bed to clean off right away. Guys should keep a towel nearby for a quick wipe if they’re that fussy.
- Lack of eye contact Yes, it can be weird to maintain a focused eye lock with men we don’t know well or have strong emotions toward. On the other hand, no eye contact at all is strangely impersonal and distant. We have to find a good compromise between the two.
- No communication Ain’t nothing sexy about that. Maybe guys think if they communicate about sex, it veers too close to actually being in a relationship or something. If we’re already dating, there’s really no excuse—if they’re having sex with us, we need to be talking, period.
- Way too much stimulation in all the wrong places AGAIN, THIS IS THE WORST. It’s a clitoris, not a fidget spinner. Treat it nicely! Same with nipples—stop twisting them and pinching them and treating them like taffy. Ugh.
- Some weird freaky master lover It’s not that complicated. We want guys who listen to our needs, make an effort to connect with us, and really want to please me. We don’t need to do a bunch of crazy stuff we’ve never done before. We just need thoughtful lovers.
