20 Things No Girl EVER Wants to Hear From A Guy

20 Things No Girl EVER Wants to Hear From A Guy ©iStock/Constantinis

Sure, we appreciate honesty. We like a guy who is open and can communicate. But there are some things girls would rather guys keep to themselves. There are certain comments that set us off, lines that turn us away and phrases that aren’t likely to get a pleasant response. It’s true – some things are better left unsaid.

  1. “I’ve slept with 20 women.” Or 40. Or 10. We don’t want to know how many people you’ve slept with. We don’t want to know about the last time you got laid. In fact, we really don’t want to hear a damned thing about anyone you’ve slept with before us.
  2. “I’m a virgin.” Not that there’s anything wrong with this, but if there was ever something to make an experienced girl run, this is it.
  3. “You’re so cool.” When was the last time anyone dated a ‘cool’ girl? Hello, friend zone.
  4. “I’m not looking for anything serious.” We’ve all heard this one before. Translation: I’m not looking for anything serious with you. But when I find what I’m looking for, you bet I’ll be serious. So what exactly are you looking for? A cuddle buddy? A pen pal? Oral sex?
  5. “All you do is nag.” No one wants to be the complainer, but maybe if you picked up your clothes off the floor, applied for that job like you said you would and stopped off at the grocery store like we asked you to, we wouldn’t have to nag.
  6. “I’m a boob man.” Are we in high school? No girl wants to hear this, especially if you are a member of the itty bitty titty committee.
  7. “Don’t you have enough shoes already?” If I did, would I be buying another pair? And for the record, we don’t have a pair like these. Since when is our shoe collection any of your concern? Don’t you have enough jerseys already? Enough video games?
  8. “I have an STD.” While we definitely want to know if you have one, we hope this is something we never have to hear out of a guy’s mouth. Especially after the damage is already done.
  9. “We need to talk.” We created this line. And we use it enough to know that it’s never a good sign.
  10. “Are you on your period?” No, actually, I am not. You know women are allowed to have a bad day, right? We’re allowed to get angry, irritated, frustrated and even cry when the situation calls for it. And I can assure you, it has nothing to do with our periods.
  11. “Your friend is hot.” I’ll let her know you said so. Or how about you tell her yourself?
  12. “Did you do something different to your hair?” Let’s be honest – men don’t notice these things. And if they do, it’s likely because it looks terrible.
  13. “You remind me of my sister.” Well, that’s flattering. And slightly creepy. And incestuous. I’m not exactly sure how to take this, but I don’t think it means you want to date me, or sleep with me. I’ll just take a seat in the friend zone.
  14. “Sorry.” Not the genuine apology, but the ‘sorry I cheated on you’ or the ‘sorry I did the same thing you’ve asked me not to do 100 times’. Sometimes sorry just doesn’t cut it. Instead of dropping a sorry, how about you just stop doing the thing you need to be sorry about?
  15. “Send me a nude pic.” No. And we don’t want yours, either.
  16. “My ex…” Whether you’re taking us for a stroll down memory lane, we did something to remind you of your ex, or you ran into her at the grocery store, no good conversation ever started with those words.
  17. “Don’t be such a girl.” Would you prefer I be a man?
  18. “I’m going to be late.” If you’re going to be late for our date, you better be telling us this in advance. Don’t wait until we’re ready to go, or worse, already there waiting for you.
  19. “Can you give me oral?” If you deserve it, or the mood strikes, we will do it. But please don’t ask us.
  20. “Relax.” NO, I WILL NOT RELAX.
Suzanne is a twenty something living in Toronto, Canada. When she doesn't have her professional pants on from 9-5, she is getting lost in a good book, a yoga class, or a tall glass of wine.
She has a severe case of the travel bug, a serious love affair with food and will never say no to puppy-sitting.