20 Ways You’re Sabotaging Your Own Happiness

Happiness may be the ultimate goal in life, but it isn’t something that is easy to achieve. Even when you find yourself in a place where you feel happy with your life, and who you are, it can all fall apart at any moment. That’s the thing about happiness. It isn’t guaranteed, predictable, or overly stable. We need to learn to appreciate what we have in the moment, because I hate to say it but, YOLO, ladies. Let’s make the most of it and stop making the same old mistakes.

  1. You won’t accept what you can’t change. You’re never going to have the chance to date James Dean, no matter how positive you are that you’re soul mates. Let it go.
  2. You worry too much about what people think. Strangers on the street don’t care that your hair’s a mess, and you’re clearly doing the walk of shame. You got laid last night. So walk proud, because no guy would be ashamed to take the subway home on a Sunday in last night’s outfit, and you shouldn’t be, either.
  3. You stay in relationships that are bad for you. Life is too short to waste time on a guy that doesn’t get you. It’s not cliche if it’s true.
  4. You keep jobs that have no room for growth. It was a great entry-level job, and you should be grateful for the experience, but it’s okay to move on when it’s time. They’ll find a new recent grad to fill your position and continue on just fine without you.
  5. You stay friends with toxic people. Just because you’ve known each other since you were 8 doesn’t mean you’re meant to keep trudging through life with her attached to you like some kind of dead extra limb. Cut her loose.
  6. You don’t speak your mind. Whether you believe this or not, keeping your emotions inside does cause physical illness. Finding a balance between tact and honesty is a necessary skill that will do wonders for your stress levels.
  7. You constantly put others before yourself. You’re #1. Repeat it like a mantra until you start living it.
  8. You talk the talk but don’t walk the walk. You don’t want to be one of those people who is all talk and no action, do you? You hate those people. So quit making elaborate plans you’ll never achieve, and start doing something real with your life.
  9. You’re okay with awful sex. That thing that keeps popping up on Instagram says it all — “Life is too short for crappy sex and bad relationships. So go find someone who sleeps with you right and treats you how you deserve to be treated.”
  10. You let guys that don’t care about you lead you on. He’s just not that into you, and if you’re being honest, he’s not that subtle about it. Get it through your head! You don’t need a guy around just to have a guy around. He should be worthy of your time.
  11. You consistently live beyond your means. “Budget” is not a four-letter word. It will guarantee you get to do the things you love, but help you avoid that “past due” credit card bill stress that is frankly, not necessary.
  12. You never take “mental health” days. Sometimes you need a Wednesday off work with nothing to do but leisurely window shop, and treat yourself to a cafe mocha on a patio. Who said you have to be suffering from “probably swine flu” in order to take a sick day?
  13. You stress over the small stuff. Very few things are the end of the world. So unless nuclear war is imminent, take a deep breath and know that this too shall pass.
  14. You obsess over whether you’ll be single forever. You won’t be. Unless that is what you choose for yourself. Let’s just leave it at that.
  15. You let other people bring you down. If you are going to be down, it will be because of something you are dealing with personally, not because you let someone else drag you down with them. Be strong. That’s why they chose you to lean on, because they knew you could take it.
  16. You don’t make time for your hobbies. Life is busy, but it doesn’t have to be all about work and obligations. If you love to paint, then paint! If you love Cross Fit, then work out! Do things for YOU.
  17. You’re too afraid to put yourself out there. You never know what could happen if you just give a new place, a new person, a new job, or a new experience a chance. You’ll regret it a lot more if you don’t try.
  18. You’re not getting a good night’s sleep. You know you’re cranky when you don’t sleep well, so make it a priority from now on. It will make every day brighter, and worth living.
  19. You count calories like it’s the most important thing in life. A balanced diet is great and all, but you deserve that warm, gooey Cinnabon once in awhile. You can work off the extra calories in Pilates later if you absolutely must. But it’ll be worth it.
  20. You wish the time would go faster. Don’t will your time away. Before you know it, you’ll be 80 and wishing you could go back to those busy work days you thought were never going to end. Because they will end, and you’ll want to be sure that you appreciated them while you had them.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to Bolde.com, contributes regularly to AmongMen.ca, IN Magazine, and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo.