21 Questions You Need To Answer “Yes” To If You’re Settling Down With Him

21 Questions You Need To Answer “Yes” To If You’re Settling Down With Him ©iStock/wundervisuals

Settling down with someone is a major life decision. You might be totally excited to start your lives together, but also wary and unsure if you’re making the right call. It’s natural to get cold feet before a major relationship commitment, but don’t ignore your intuition if it’s telling you to put a little more consideration into this choice. Before you commit to settling down with him, make sure you can answer “yes” to these 21 questions :

  1. Can you stand his morning breath? Because you’re going to be waking up to it every morning, and some of those mornings might involve cuddles before he hits the bathroom.
  2. Is the sex satisfying? Because it will be a long, unfulfilling life together if it’s not.
  3. Can you tolerate his friends and family? You don’t have to love them, but you at least have to be able to put up with them.
  4. Is your single rampage over? You should be sure that you’ve gotten your strange single ways out of your system (or that he’s cool with it if you haven’t).
  5. Are you happy? Even if your unhappiness has nothing to do with your relationship, it might not be smart to settle down until you’ve sorted out what’s going on with you.
  6. Does his occupation mesh well with your lifestyle? Does his income or schedule matter to you? Are you going to be fine if you work opposite shifts, or if he’s on call, has to work holidays, or is on a rotating schedule?
  7. Do you have all the background information you want? If things like his credit score, sexual history, and the reason why he’s still single are important to you, better ask him now if you haven’t already.
  8. Do you have a plan on where you’re going to live? Is one of you giving up your apartment or are you finding a new place altogether? Is it a good time for you to buy? What happens if you’re offered a job in another city?
  9. Do you agree on how to split up bills, housework, and childcare? Studies suggest it’s best when everything is split 50/50, but you should have a plan that works best for you and your particular situation.
  10. Can you stand looking at his Mets posters every day? You can’t immediately throw away all his tacky bachelor décor, and it’s probably going to be a while before you have a large enough place for a man cave. Get prepared to make some decorating compromises so you both can feel at home together.
  11. Does he treat you like a partner? You should feel like equals in your relationship.
  12. Do you love each other’s pets? Pets can be a dealbreaker. He’s not going to give away his mastiff just because you can’t cope with the massive poops and early morning slobbery kisses.
  13. Does he encourage you to be the best version of yourself? You’re not done working on you just because you’ve found love. He should be a cheerleader of your individual goals.
  14. Do you still make time for your friends? Make sure this relationship isn’t a black hole where all your other friendships go to die. If you can’t seem to fit anyone else in your life, you’ll end up isolated and lonely.
  15. Do you feel safe, secure, and supported? This is an absolute must! If you can’t say yes to this one, it’s better to bail than settle down.
  16. Can you share a bathroom with this guy? You’ll be dealing with his lingering smells, beard hairs in the sink, and whatever bad habits he has involving the toilet seat and toothpaste cap.
  17. Are you ready to give up half your closet space? Sharing is caring, and his stuff has to go somewhere. Clearing out a bottom drawer in your dresser probably isn’t going to cut it.
  18. Does he let you have the last slice of pizza? It’s the little things that will get you through a lifetime together.
  19. Does he cheer you up when you’re stressed or sad? You’ll encounter bad times, and it will be easier if he’s part of your emotional support system.
  20. Do you see yourself with him in 5 years, 20 years, 40 years? If you’re lucky, you’ll both grow old AF together. If you can’t picture yourself with him when his 6 pack is replaced with a beer gut, you might want to put a little more thought into this.
  21. Do you have a plan for if your birth control fails? A surprise baby is probably the biggest monkey wrench you could throw into a relationship. If you have polar opposite views on how you’d like to cope with that, it’s better to discuss it before you settle down than after.
Holly Harris is a freelance writer, full time student, and mommy to a toddler sass monster. In her (nearly nonexistent) free time, you can find her lifting something heavy in her home gym or chugging vodka sodas with friends. She contributes to several other sites, including Elite Daily.