35 CRAZY Thoughts You Have When a Guy Isn’t Texting Back

When a guy doesn’t text us back within (what we think is) a reasonable amount of time, something often goes haywire in our heads. Instead of putting him out of our heads and going about our day — which is what we should do — we stop thinking clearly, start obsessing, and essentially lose our minds. It’s as if we’ve been drugged. What is that??

Here are just some of the thoughts we have when we’re in that INSANE place:

1. Why is he taking so long to reply?

2. What — It’s only been 12 minutes? How is that possible??

3. The clock on my phone must be broken.

4. I guess it’s possible he hasn’t looked at his phone in a while. That happens.

5. Actually – no it doesn’t. Everyone looks at their phone constantly.

6. Unless….. He lost his phone. That would explain it.

7. Or maybe he forgot it in his car and is just being lazy about getting it. He is kind of lazy.

8. He could have dropped it too. iPhones are so sensitive.

9. Oh nooooo — what if he’s dead! So sad. He was so young.

10. Wait a sec. According to Whatsapp, he was “last seen” a minute ago.

11. And omg — he just commented on Facebook.

12. Okay, so maybe he didn’t have his phone for the last 13 minutes but is now finally going to reply.

13. Wtf. It’s been 2 minutes since he’s had his phone back.

14. Jesus Christ. It’s been 5 minutes. How long does it take to bang out a text??

15. I SWEAR TO GOD, if I don’t hear from him by the time I count to 10, he can go to hell.

16. 1,2,3,4…

17. Okay, this is BS. I should just text him again. As long as I’m super casual about it, it totally won’t look desperate.

18. Gawd, why is he torturing me?

19. I thought he was so into me. Is it possible he’s just not that into me?

20. Is there, like, a conspiracy to keep me from being happy??

21. Ugh. What is his deal?

22. Maybe it’s me. Maybe I did something terrible to someone who loved me desperately in a past life and this is my karma.

23. Maybe I’m just not skinny enough. I really need to go to the gym.

24. You know what, screw him. Any guy who makes me doubt myself isn’t worth it.

25. He’s so hot though.

26. But whatever, it’s not like I can’t do better. I totally could.

27. I’m so sad.

28. No one loves me.

29. And I’m so normal and not even a little bit crazy!

30. Okay, I can’t stand this. I need to get out. Maybe I’ll go buy something.

31. What a loser.

32. I can’t believe I let myself fall for such a jerk.


34. Actually, this is totally for the best – he’s probably one of those guys who’s going to lose his job, get into debt, lead a double life and kill his wife when she finds out so of course God is just helping me dodge a bullet. #Blessed

—— Ding!! ——-

35. Yay! I love him.

Halle Kaye is the author of the insightful, inspirational and hilarious dating guide for women, "Maybe He's Just an Asshole: Ditch Denial, Embrace Your Worth, and Find True Love!"