45 Things I’ve Learned About Love

45 Things I’ve Learned About Love ©iStock/soup__studio

If you ask me after a few drinks, I’ve been in love DOZENS of times. If you ask me when I’m cold sober, I’ll tell you I’ve been in love twice, possibly three times, although it might be closer to four or five. Looking back there are some loves I wish I never loved and other almost-loves that I really wish I had loved completely. Either way, I know a few things about the subject, and I think you should, too.

1. You will get your heart broken. Multiple times.

2. A big key to happiness is to never stop flirting.

3. Love is actually considered a mental illness.

4. Don’t allow yourself to forgive people who are unworthy of you.

5. Never, ever put your friends on the back burner for a man.

6. Hot make-out sessions never go out of style.

7. One-night-stands do not a suitable partner make.

8. Go with your gut always. It will never lie to you.

9. Promise yourself right here and now that you’ll never ever settle, and stick to that promise forever.

10. Don’t hope someone will change; people rarely do.

11. Make people love you for your unapologetic nature. In other words, never apologize for you are.

12. Don’t chase people; it will just give them a big head.

13. Let people chase you, because you’re worthy of being chased.

14. Never go to bed angry.

15. Realize it’s OK to put yourself first sometimes.

16. Never let a fear of PDA stand in the way of expressing your love.

17. Very few people deserve seconds chances.

18. Texting is great, but make it a point to talk on the phone, too (as weird as that might sound to our generation).

19. Never get out of the habit of greeting and saying goodbye with a kiss.

20. Talk about your sex life with each other often.

21. Keep several “f*ck offs” in your pocket and don’t be afraid to use them.

22. Don’t let someone else force you to doubt yourself.

23. It’s OK to adapt to someone you love, but never lose yourself. You might not get you back.

24. Make this your mantra: “The girl really worth having won’t wait for anybody.”

25. Remember that crappy days just come with the territory.

26. Don’t let someone try to change you; you’re perfect as you are.

27. Once a cheater, always a cheater — and don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.

28. There will be a lot of compromise, but don’t let there be too much compromise.

29. Great sex doesn’t necessarily mean great love.

30. Jay Gatsby is a character in a book. In other words, don’t expect someone to build an empire to win you over.

31. If someone doesn’t love your dog, run.

32. If your dog doesn’t love someone you’re into, run even faster.

33. At the end of every relationship, remind yourself that it’s his loss, not yours.

34. If someone calls you picky, embrace it. Picky is a good thing.

35. Say “no” to the first wedding proposal. If he really wants it, he’ll ask again.

36. Realize it’s normal it have a crush on someone else when you’re in love with your partner. It’s the acting on it that’s the bad part.

37. When your relationship is equal, you’ll be happier and less stressed.

38. Recap how and why you fell in love often so you’re less likely to forget.

39. Cute quirks will become annoyances eventually. Prepare yourself for that.

40. Cuddling, and lots of it, is great for not just your relationship, but your health.

41. Be wary of those who hate your nearest and dearest. Those are the people who helped form you, so that says a lot.

42. Date nights are important, but you don’t necessarily have to call them “date night,” because ugh.

43. Take time to appreciate your present, just as often as you take time to appreciate your past.

44. Realize love is a risk, but it’s one that’s worth taking.

45. There are no storybook endings, so forget about that grand gesture outside your window with a boombox.

Amanda Chatel is a sexual health, mental health, and wellness journalist with more than a decade of experience. Her work has been featured in Shape, Glamour, SELF, Harper's Bazaar, The Atlantic, Forbes, Elle, Mic, Men's Health and Bustle, where she was a lifestyle writer for seven years. In 2019, The League included Amanda in their "15 Inspirational Feminists Every Single Person Should Follow on Twitter" list.

Amanda has a bachelor's degree in English and master's degree in Creative Writing from the University of New Hampshire. She divides her time between NYC, Paris, and Barcelona.

You can follow her on Instagram @la_chatel or on Twitter @angrychatel.