5 Types Of Love Languages: Which One Do You Use?

Love languages are specific ways of expressing and receiving love. There are five types of love languages that are universal across the human race: words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and receiving gifts. Here’s the rundown on each, and how knowing yours can help your relationship.

How do love languages help relationships?

Love languages are how people express their love. No two people are alike in how they think, feel, communicate, or express love. While it’d be great if you and your partner were to give and receive affection in the same way, thereby making it easier to know how to better fulfill one another’s needs, that usually doesn’t happen. Understanding love languages and how they’re expressed is the next best thing.

Love languages promote relationship understanding. By understanding your partner, and yourself, you’re in a better position to ask for what you what and give your partner what they want. And as a result, this is one of the easiest ways to improve your relationship.

Love languages encourage intimacy.  Not only will understanding the different love languages make your relationship more harmonious, but this understanding also aids in personal growth, creates empathy, and boosts each person’s sense of selflessness. In other words, it allows a greater level of intimacy in relationships.

The 5 types of love languages and what they entail

Words of Affirmation

What is this love language all about? Words of affirmation is a love language that is associated with verbal expressions of love, appreciation, and encouragement. The health professionals at Healthline explain that people who use this love language love to hear and say words like “I love you” and tend to be at their best when their partner reassures them.

What do words of affirmation look like? With this love language, people like to hear things like “thank you” or “you matter to me”. If you’re dating someone who has this kind of love language, then never hesitate to communicate how much they mean to you verbally. With some people, actions speak louder than words, but that’s not the case with this love language! And in any case, strong communication is vital in a relationship.

Words of affirmation don’t need to be verbal. Some people have problems with verbal communication. If you fall into this group, you can still communicate your thoughts and feelings using words of affirmation by writing them down. In particular, people with this love language love to receive notes and letters.A person with this love language also likes to be checked up on throughout the day. And a compliment never, ever goes astray!

Quality Time

What’s this love language about? Quality time is the type of love language that is pretty self-explanatory. Those with this love language appreciate your time and undivided attention. This isn’t the kind of relationship where hanging out together consists of sitting next to each other, watching Netflix and scrolling through your phones without talking. In fact, your phone can sabotage your relationship if you let it!

Spending time together is important. If you or your partner has this love language, you may start to feel disconnected if you don’t spend enough time together. It can really help to organize your schedule in advance so you know for sure that you will have dedicated time together, especially when life gets busy.

Quantity and quality matter. Try turning off your phones when you’re together, as it’s not just about the quantity of time you spend with each other, but the quality. You should be focusing on each other and be fully present with one another. Mind Body Green explains that those who value quality time also value eye contact, meaningful conversations, and sharing recreational activities. It shouldn’t feel like spending time together is a chore, but rather one of your highest priorities.

Physical Touch

What’s this love language about? Those whose love language is physical touch feel the most connected with their partner through, you guessed it, touching. This can be sexual or nonsexual. People with this love language feel the most loved when they are touched and crave affection through this medium.

Physical intimacy is important. When this is your love language, you probably enjoy holding hands. If you’re watching TV together, you’re usually cuddling rather than sitting apart. And you might hate sleeping alone. People with this love language find physical intimacy to be the strongest connector between two people.

PDA is a given. People with this love language might not be best suited to those who hate PDA, as they tend to want physical affection anywhere, anytime. Relationships like these usually have lots of hugs, kisses, and other public displays of affection.

Acts of Service

What’s this love language about? The acts of service love language is about actions over words. You can say you love someone, but if they have this language, they’ll feel it if you show them you love them. The ideal acts of service are selfless acts that one person in a relationship will do to make the other person’s life easier.

It’s the thought that counts. In particular, people with this love language like their partner to perform acts of service without being asked. It’s one thing to ask your partner to draw you a bath, but it’s another to come home and find that they’ve surprised you with a hot bath.

Acts of service don’t need to be grand gestures. Unlike Harry Styles, you don’t need to walk through fire to please this kind of person. Simple tasks, like doing chores around the house or cooking are great ways to show your love. One of the best acts of service that can make a world of difference is bringing someone coffee in the morning!

Receiving Gifts

What’s this love language all about? This type of love language relates to people who feel the most loved when they receive physical gifts. Not gifts in the way of a cooked dinner or having their errands run, but actual tangible gifts. Though it sounds expensive to be in a relationship with this kind of person, gifts don’t need to cost much or anything at all. For example, a rose plucked from a bush is a gift.

It’s all in the surprise. People with this type of love language also love being surprised with gifts. It’s not quite as meaningful if they have to ask you to get them something. Rather, they want to know that you were thinking of them and decided to offer a token of your affection on your own.

The type of gifts you give matter. Psychotherapist Fariha Mahmud-Syed, MFT, CFLE, says that gifts should represent the receiver’s values, not the giver’s. Those with this love language enjoy receiving gifts of all kinds, so long as they come from the right place. “People whose love language is receiving gifts enjoy being gifted something that is both physical and meaningful. The key is to give meaningful things that matter to them and reflect their values, not necessarily yours,” she explains.

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