Everyone lies sometimes, but there’s a difference between the occasional white lie and someone who can’t stop. Pathological liars don’t just stretch the truth—they build entire realities out of thin air, often so smoothly you don’t realize it’s happening. The worst part? They’re often so good at it, you start questioning your own instincts.
If you’ve been feeling like something’s off but can’t put your finger on it, here’s the cold, hard truth: you might be dating a pathological liar.
1. They Have An Excuse For Everything
No matter what happens, they’ve always got a story. Whether it’s why they were late, why they forgot something, or why they said one thing but did another, their explanations sound polished—too polished. They rarely take responsibility because, in their version of events, they’re never at fault and often get defensive according to Psych Central.
You start to feel like you’re the one who’s overreacting for even questioning them. It’s not just bad luck—it’s a pattern of constant deflection.
2. Their Stories Shift Every Time They Tell Them
One day, the story happened in New York. The next, it was LA. The details shift so much, you can’t keep track—but they expect you to. They rely on your confusion to keep their lies going.
This inconsistency isn’t just forgetfulness—it’s a sign they’re making it up as they go. And they count on you not noticing the cracks.
3. They Lie About Small, Unnecessary Things
Pathological liars don’t just lie about big stuff, they lie about everything as outlined by WebMD. They’ll tell you they went to the store when they didn’t. They’ll say they love a movie they’ve never seen. The lies are constant, even when there’s no reason to lie.
It’s not about the details—it’s about control. They lie because they can, and they love the power it gives them.
4. They Get Defensive Or Angry When You Ask Questions
A normal partner answers questions without making it a whole scene. But a pathological liar? They get weirdly aggressive or insulted when you ask for clarification. It’s their way of scaring you into backing off.
This defensiveness isn’t about protecting privacy—it’s about avoiding exposure. When you notice it happening a lot, that’s a major red flag.
5. Their Stories Feel Too Perfect Or Too Tragic
They’re either the hero or the victim—never the messy, complicated person we all actually are. Every story is an epic tale, every detail designed to make you think a certain way. They script their life like a movie because they’re more invested in the performance than in reality.
This isn’t storytelling—it’s manipulation. And it’s a hallmark of pathological lying, the Newport Institute explains in this article.
6. They Blame Everyone Else For Their Problems
Every setback has an external cause—never them. It’s always a bad boss, an unreasonable friend, or a misunderstanding. They can’t own their role in anything, which conveniently shields them from accountability.
This isn’t just immaturity. It’s a tactic to keep the focus off their lies and onto everyone else’s alleged faults.
7. They Have A Shaky Sense Of Identity
Pathological liars often reinvent themselves depending on who they’re around. They’ll change opinions, hobbies, and even past stories to fit the narrative they think you want to hear. The American Psychological Association explains it’s like they’re always playing a role instead of being a real person.
This chameleon behavior is exhausting—and it keeps you guessing about who they really are. Spoiler: you may never find out.
8. They Use Guilt To Shut Down Your Doubts
When you call them out, they make you feel bad. They’ll act hurt, say you’re paranoid, or even accuse you of not trusting them enough. It’s emotional blackmail disguised as innocence.
This guilt game keeps you quiet—and their lies safe. The more you doubt yourself, the more control they have.
9. They Can’t Handle Being Caught
When a pathological liar gets exposed, they don’t own it—they spin it. They’ll deny, deflect, or come up with a new lie to cover the old one. There’s no relief, no apology—just another layer of deception.
This pattern leaves you exhausted and questioning your own sanity. But the problem isn’t you—it’s them.
10. They Try To Charm Their Way Out Of Tough Spots
They’re smooth. Too smooth. When things get tense, they flash a smile, make a joke, or say something flattering to distract you from the issue at hand. It feels like emotional whiplash.
This charm isn’t innocent. It’s a weapon they use to reset the mood and avoid accountability.
11. They Avoid Specifics And Get Vague Fast
Ask them for details, and suddenly they’re fuzzy on the facts. They’ll give you half-answers, deflect, or change the subject entirely. It’s a pattern designed to keep you from pressing too hard.
Specificity is where liars crumble. So they stay vague, hoping you’ll lose interest.
12. They Seem Almost Addicted To Attention
Pathological liars crave the spotlight. They want to be the most interesting person in the room, even if it means spinning stories that aren’t true. Their lies aren’t always malicious—sometimes they just need the attention that comes from being dramatic or impressive.
But that constant need for validation? It’s a huge red flag. And it’s often the root of their lying in the first place.
13. You Can’t Shake A Gut Feeling Something’s Off
The biggest sign you’re dealing with a pathological liar? You feel it. The details don’t add up, the stories don’t quite track, and yet—they’re so convincing, you start to question your own reality. They make you feel like you’re the one who’s overthinking.
If your gut keeps whispering that something isn’t right, listen. Pathological liars are experts at twisting your sense of what’s real. But your instincts are wiser than you think.
