Guys really have no choice in the matter after we get it in our heads that they’re not boyfriend material. Sure, there weren’t immediate fireworks or you imagined being swept off your feet in a different way, but maybe sometimes we’re too quick to judge. There must be a reason he’s good enough to be a friend, so why not give him a chance to show you what a great boyfriend he could be? After all…
Your priorities have changed. When you were in your early 20s, you were probably looking for a certain type of guy – hot, fun and good in bed usually covered it. Now you’re older and wiser, more focused on your career and your future and the party animal type of guy probably wouldn’t cut it anymore. Instead, that smart, mature, responsible guy you thought couldn’t possibly be The One back then might actually be a contender.
He’s loyal. He may not have managed to get in your pants back when you first met, but he stuck around, because being your friend was better than not having you in his life at all. That’s a guy who knows a good thing when he sees it, and if you give him a chance, there is no way he’s going to screw it up.
You’re comfortable around him: At the beginning of a new relationship, you never want to reveal that you are in fact a human being with bodily functions in front of him. What if the lobster risotto just didn’t agree with you? What if you spot a long hair sprouting out of your chin? What if you realize you totally forgot to put on deodorant that morning? With your friend-zoned guy, you won’t have to worry about potentially embarrassing situations because they’ll be few and far between.
He loves your quirks. You know those things your ex hated about you? Your friend-zoned guy loves those things. He thinks it’s cute when you hit the snooze button 6 times, and knows you’ll do anything for just 5 more minutes of sleep. He doesn’t mind that you will always love terrible ’90s boy bands, and the fact that you’ve got every quote from Bring It On memorized is one of his favourite things about you.
He’s seen you at your worst. This guy has probably seen you drunk as hell, gobbling up the biggest, greasiest slice of pizza known to man, only to throw it up later and then pass out on the bathroom floor. He’s comforted you when that guy you were really into dumped you for his ex, and he was there for you when your favourite aunt passed away. He knows how much space you need, and when you need it. But he also knows when you’re putting on a brave face and really just need a hug.
You’ll regret it if you don’t try. There’s always the concern that attempting a romantic relationship could ruin your friendship. But how often to you come across a connection like the one you have with him? If you really aren’t attracted to him and have no feelings for him beyond friends, it’s not worth the risk. But think about it – if the possibility of something more is there, you owe it to yourself to try. If Chandler and Monica can do it, so can you!
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