6 Things You’re Probably Doing That Scare Men Off

6 Things You’re Probably Doing That Scare Men Off ©iStock/Martin Dimitrov

While it’s true that opposites attract, the differences between men and women can also spawn a lot of eye rolling. Men aren’t perfect by any means, but women aren’t completely innocent, here. I’m sorry to tell you, but there are some things that you should vent about or only do with your girlfriends. After all, guys don’t need to or want to hear their women being catty bitches and gossip queens. Ladies, take notes!

  1. You discuss reality TV as if you actually know the cast. The two “B” words are the biggest offenders in the minds of men when it comes to this issue: BRAVO and The Bachelor. There’s nothing that will drive a man out of a room faster than discussing hot messes like the Real Housewives. The male stance? You don’t know them. You watched them behave like idiots for an hour of your life that you’ll never get back, and now you’re analyzing their antics? Who cares? If you must rant to your guy about how you think Andy Cohen would be your Gay BFF if he could just meet you, or how so-and-so clearly has an anger management problem, you can… but it will most likely fall on deaf ears (or just make him wish he was deaf).
  2. You talk BS about other girls you find on social media. We’re all stalkers – don’t even pretend you haven’t trolled a friend of a friend’s cousin’s Instagram who you met one time and gone through every single one of her pictures. Not only did you look at all of the photos, but you formed very strong opinions about each of them and the girl. Guess what? Guys. Don’t. Care. They would rather spend their time focusing on the things they like – you know, like Xbox and football. Rarely do you hear men critiquing other men and succumbing to social media bullying or negativity. If you don’t actually know the person you’re bashing, there’s really no point wasting time and energy that could be better spent doing something fun with your man. If you do know them, you don’t need to sit in judgment of someone who’s supposed to be your friend. And if they’re your frenemy, they deserve even less of your attention.
  3. You ask for a guy’s opinion, only to ignore it and do what you want anyway. Men don’t mind giving you their opinion. They actually like being included in your decisions, even if you’re asking their opinion on an outfit. What they hate is going through the trouble of giving you their opinion and trying to help you make a decision, only for you to completely disregard what they said and do exactly what you were going to do anyway. Nothing annoys men like having their time wasted, so if you’re not going to take their advice, it’s best not to ask.
  4. You’re two-faced towards your girlfriends. No matter how hot you are, guys don’t want to be dating a Regina George. When you spend your time nit-picking your girlfriend’s wardrobe or significant other behind her back and then telling her how much you love everything about her to her face, men take notice. First of all, they realize that if you’re saying one thing to your friend’s face and another behind her back, you’re probably doing the same thing to them. It’s also tedious for them to keep track of the truths and lies and they just get exhausted. It’s best with men to ditch your inner mean girl and practice that whole “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all” mantra… even behind people’s backs.
  5. You drag him along on your shopping sprees. While men may outwardly complain about being coerced into stopping into Victoria’s Secret at the mall, they get their own secret pleasure out of watching their gal shop for lingerie. Being forced to look at things you can’t afford and will never buy, like Hermes china or a diamond Tiffany & Co. ring, is another story. Let’s be honest: You’re not buying cutlery that costs more than your car payment and men hate browsing for the sake of browsing, especially for long periods of time. If you feel the need to window shop, it’s best to leave your boyfriend at home and bring your BFF.
  6. You use the word “fine”. There are maybe a handful of occasions where the adjective “fine” is appropriate for a situation and properly used. Whatever you’re using it to describe isn’t good, it isn’t great, and it isn’t bad – it just is. Women don’t lack emotion, so when we use the word “fine”, a red flag goes off in a man’s head and he knows it’s time to mentally prepare for battle. They’ve come to realize that “fine” is a placeholder word and that at some point in the near future, you’ll make them aware that whatever was said to be “fine” really wasn’t. Stop doing this! You aren’t fooling anyone and even if you’re trying to let something go but can’t, saying it’s fine wastes everyone’s time. Men aren’t mind readers, so it’s best to just come out with whatever you have to say instead of prolonging the inevitable.
Abby Stern grew up in New Orleans and is now an actress, screenwriter, and blogger (who isn't?) trying to keep it real in Los Angeles. She also writes for FabFitFun and contributes to various blogs detailing her unique perspective on dating and twenty-something life in Hollywood. Gwyneth Paltrow is her spirit animal and in her free time, Abby enjoys Bellinis and plotting to steal unattended Birkin bags. Follow her on Twitter: @abbystern