6 Ways To Cut A Bad Date Short Fast

Dating is a real crapshoot these days, and most of the time, the people who you’ll date *are* crap. The problem is that even if they didn’t seem like crap earlier on, you’re seriously wasting your time. More often than not, the dates that you go on with these guys aren’t even fun – even if they’re at the hottest restaurant in town.

At the end of the day, you’re not getting anything worthwhile. You might not even be having fun. In other words, you’re more than entitled to cut a date short if a guy makes a royal ass out of himself, if you’re not having fun, or if there’s no spark. Here are six ways you can cut a date short, and spend less time with losers.

  1. Be blunt.  Get up, grab your purse, and tell him flatly that you’re not interested in continuing the date. If he asks why, tell him that you’re not compatible and leave it at that. You don’t owe him an explanation, and actually telling him why will just make him think he has a chance to fix the situation. It may take courage, but at least you’re upfront about it and not wasting his time, either. To keep things safe, always do this in a public setting where he’s less likely to go nuts on you, and always take your own car.
  2. Pull the old “emergency call from a friend” trick.  For a while when I was single, I used to have a friend who would call me at one point during the date. I’d always answer it. If the date went badly, I’d tell my date that there’s an emergency I’d need to take care of, then I’d bolt. If the date went well, I’d answer it and tell my date that it was my “safety call.” If I didn’t answer, my friend would call the police after 5 hours of no reply. It was a safety measure as much as it was a way to get out of a date without hurting a guy’s feelings. It works well, though in 2015, guys have started to catch on to this. That’s not necessarily a bad thing; it may just be the hint he needs to realize that you’re not into him.
  3. Go to the bathroom and don’t come back.  This is the real-life version of “ghosting,” and it’s been around since the dawn of time. While they aren’t looking, or after excusing yourself to “powder your nose,” bolt. Drop $20 at the waiter if it’s a restaurant to pay your part of the bill, and let the waiter be the bearer of bad news.
  4. Spill something on yourself, then run off to get changed. Alone.  If the date is bad enough and the ghosting trick didn’t work out the way you wanted it to, you may have to bite the bullet and sacrifice your outfit. A good way to cut a date short is to spill something on yourself (or on him), then go, “Oh no! You/I have to go change clothes. Date over!” He may try to invite himself  along for the ride and hope to get lucky by doing so. Don’t agree to it. Instead, smile and go, “I can clean up myself, thanks.”
  5. Mention that you have a very early morning at work and can’t stay out too late. He may insist or try to stall for time in some sort of pathetic hope that you’ll magically change your mind and fall for him, but don’t let him do it. Instead, be firm, and say, “I have to be out by 8. Sorry! Some guys will still not get a clue by you being firm, and this is where it gets problematic. At this point, you’re going to have to get blunt with him, and maybe even a little mean. If he won’t take no for an answer, get mad, and tell him, “Well, I can’t really date a guy who doesn’t take my career or needs seriously. Ciao!”
  6. Get mean.  I only use this if a guy really crossed a line and needs to be schooled in manners. If he goes so far as to embarrass you in public, slut-shame you, or flat-out insult you, you have to stand up for yourself. If guys don’t have women put them in check from time to time, they’ll think that their behavior is acceptable. Ideally, this will be done in a public setting, so that he’ll be less likely to retaliate in whatever sense. In your most commanding, diva-esque voice: “Excuse you? What did you just say?” He may react a number of ways, from getting louder to stammering to mansplaining things to you. Regardless of how he reacts to you, stand your ground. Get stone-faced, and look like you’re ready to fight. Do not, under any circumstance, be intimidated by him.

Once he’s done with his initial reaction, look him straight in the eye, and tell him, “What in the hell made you think that’s acceptable to say to anyone? How would you feel if I said that to you? This date is over, and no, you’re not getting a second chance. GTFO, jackass.”

After that, head to the staff at whatever restaurant/venue you’re at and explain the situation. Tell them you’re not comfortable, that he’s in charge of the bill, and that you want to be escorted to your car safely. If they saw the two of you entering, or witnessed him make a scene, they’ll be understanding and help you leave.

Oh, and word about safety: One thing I have learned is that first dates often will be pretty safe, but that doesn’t mean that you should take chances. If you feel uncomfortable at any point, call someone to escort you home, and carry pepper spray on you at all times.

Ossiana Tepfenhart is a New Jersey based writer and editor with bylines in Mashed, Newsbreak, Good Men Project, YourTango, and many more. She’s also the author of a safe travel guide for LGBTQIA+ people available on Amazon.

She regularly writes on her popular Medium page and posts on TikTok and Instagram @ossianamakescontent.
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