The Internet is great and all, but more often than not, all the positives come with a side of ignorance and hate from users who get brave behind their keyboards and get off on putting each other down. Women are often the victims of this behavior, with trolls attempting to shame the fairer sex with crappy memes and, on some occasions, outright misogyny and hate. Whether it’s over physical appearance, sexual experience, or – gasp! – a woman simply having enough confidence to post a selfie, haters love to tear women down. Unfortunately, it’s not always men that are the most egregious offenders in this area. Woman on woman bashing is more common than ever, and it’s sad to see. Here’s how we’re tearing each other down as a gender and we need to stick together and stop it already.
- Talking crap about each other’s bodies. This one should come as no surprise. It’s the number one issue we constantly critique ourselves about. When we criticize another woman’s body, we only perpetuate the argument of ideal body types and sizes. Stop. No seriously, just stop. Some women choose to be fit, muscular body builders and some choose to go for leisurely walks and then settle into a night of Netflix with a bowl of ice cream. Who are we to judge another woman’s choices? We should instead be focusing on building each other up instead of making women feel guilty about their eating habits.
- Belittling each other’s makeup and wardrobe choices. How many times have you ridiculed another woman for how much makeup she’s wearing or how pretentious and over-styled her outfit is, only to secretly go home and search YouTube tutorials and Pinterest boards all night to achieve the same look? Instead of enabling a negative attitude about these skills and qualities, we should be learning from each other and finding ways to grow into our own beauty ideals. Masking natural envy for hatred is not sexy. Work on accepting yourself and your own positive attributes, which will make it easier to genuinely appreciate your fellow ladies. And if you seriously don’t like it, keep it to yourself instead of knocking her down to satisfy your own ego.
- Hating on each other’s success. Not every woman was made to get married, have kids and become a stay-at-home mom (but it’s okay if you were). Some women are born to command the corporate world, compete fiercely in her athletic abilities, or save orphaned animals by giving them a loving home. Some women choose to work a full time career and raise a family at the same time. It’s not our place to judge each other. Some women don’t follow the norms as outlined by tradition, so next time you think it’s “sad” that your friend doesn’t have a baby or a husband, look at the ways she’s killing it in life in other ways, and be happy for her, end of story.
- Trying to make each other feel bad for our sexual histories. We’ve been taught that having many partners defines our worth as a woman and while men contribute to this mentality, women are equally as guilty at lowering the worth of a sexually adventurous woman. You probably remember Tina Fey telling an auditorium full of girls in Mean Girls that calling each other easy women and whores makes it okay for guys to do it, and that’s so on point. Plus, why are another woman’s sexual experiences of any concern to you? Be and let be. It’s not anyone’s business unless it intrudes on your own relationships. Mistresses are a different thing. This brings us to the next point…
- Lashing out at the side chicks. Why is it that when a man cheats, women lash out at the other woman involved instead of her partner? She’s automatically labelled a homewrecking whore and the sole person to blame for the infidelity. This point needs to be fiercely hammered: its takes TWO people to consent to sex. Your committed partner was one of them. Stop blaming the woman for the entire thing.
- Insulting each other’s intelligence. Opinionated, outspoken women are labelled feminists or “crazy” by other women all the time, while more low key female personalities are labelled “weak”. It’s horrifying that we continue to insult one another this way and undermining one another’s intelligence. Every woman possesses knowledge unique to her own life and experiences. Where one woman may be book smart, another may be the Einstein of how to raise a child or make the perfect pumpkin pie. We should be celebrating one another’s successes instead of pointing out how we’re flawed.