Not all men lie on first dates, but admittedly, many do. It’s not always with the intention of hiding things, though. Sometimes it’s just because they aren’t ready to reveal that much information about themselves. Guys might lie because they’re insecure or maybe afraid of freaking you out and scaring you off. In fact, there are a ton of reasons they might be less than forthcoming when you first go out. Here are some of the biggest fibs they might tell.
- Men lie about their jobs. They might not lie about what industry they work in but they might lie about the importance of their job. Guys know that women generally are looking for a mate that can support themselves and a family. If they aren’t as far up the ladder as they feel they should be, they might lie about their responsibilities, their title, or even about how much they make. Sometimes it is a matter of wanting to seem more important than they really are. Other times, it might be about trying to impress you.
- They lie about their age. This is especially common when they are dating someone they really want to impress and there is a fairly large age difference. Younger men who date older women might add a couple of years and an older man dating a younger woman may shave off a few years. They know that if the relationship lasts the truth will come out, eventually. That’s why this lie is a big red flag. If they lie about their age, there’s a good chance that they don’t intend on seeing you more than a handful of times. They simply aren’t looking for a long-term relationship.
- They lie about their housing situation. Women don’t usually want to date a man that still lives at home with his parents. Grown men with roommates are generally not sought after either. So, they lie. A man who lies about where he lives may be planning to change that really soon. He may also just hope that you’ll never find out before he can change the situation. If he always wants to go to your place to hang out and never invites you back to his place, you might want to find out if he’s living with an apartment full of other guys!
- They lie about how much they drink alcohol, smoke, or do drugs. Men know that dependence on alcohol and other recreational substances is not a desirable quality in a potential mate. If the two of you indulge on your first date, he’s likely to tell you he hardly ever does that. Not everyone that has a few beers with dinner is an alcoholic but it is something you may want to keep an eye on in the future if you decide to see him again. It’s also worth considering why he felt the need to even mention it. Really – do people who only drink casually usually feel the need to tell others that they hardly ever drink?
- They lie about their sexual history. Rarely ever does a man tell the absolute truth about how many sexual partners he’s had before your first date. He might be just cutting the numbers back a bit or adding in a partner or two. But he might be making drastic changes to the numbers. He doesn’t want you to be freaked out by the large numbers of women he’s bedded or have you think he’s nothing but a player. A guy on a first date also doesn’t want you to think that he’s inexperienced and there’s something wrong with him. So, he’ll adapt that number to something that he thinks you’ll find acceptable.
- They lie about their serious relationships, too. Not only will he hide the truth about his sexual past, but he’s likely not going to tell the whole truth about the number of serious relationships he’s been in. If he’s been married five times and divorced five times, he’s not going to be completely honest about that. Let’s face it, what’s your first thought? What’s wrong with him. He wants you to focus on the present. He may not tell you how long it’s been since he got out of his last serious relationship. If it’s too soon, he knows you’re thinking that you’re the rebound girl. If it was a long time ago, you might wonder what he’s been doing since then. Or rather, who he has been doing.
First dates are super hard for men too. It’s not just women that struggle with how much to tell and what to keep hidden. You can ask questions like how many partners they have had, what their job is, and so on. Unfortunately, you’re not likely to get the complete truth. Instead, focus on lighter conversation on the first date. There’s lots of time for the more serious questions!
