7 Painful Lessons You Learn As A Woman Who Wears Her Heart On Her Sleeve

When you love someone, you do it with your whole heart, no holding back. It’s the only way you know how to approach relationships and you expect the same in return. Unfortunately, more often than not, you end up learning some painful lessons with this approach that test your faith in love—hang in there.

  1. Not everyone values loyalty and commitment as much as you do. When you’re seeing someone, you’re doing so exclusively. If you’re in a relationship, you don’t have eyes for anyone else. You don’t even entertain the idea of cheating or betraying your partner in any way because you value them and your connection so much that it never even crosses your mind. Unfortunately, you sometimes end up dating people who don’t understand the sanctity of love and you get hurt because of it.
  2. Some people will take advantage of your love. Because you see the best in people and believe in fighting for love, partners who are narcissistic, selfish, or underhanded will use that to their advantage, taking you for granted or treating you like crap because they believe they’ll be able to get away with it. You’re focused on being a good partner but all they can think about is how they can get what they want from you without having to get much in return.
  3. Finding someone who believes in love as much as you is nearly impossible. You’re not naive or stupid, you just believe that love is a powerful emotion and an experience like none other. You’d love to find a partner who sees things the way you do but you’re often saddened to discover that many people will easily toss love aside when it’s inconvenient or becomes a little too hard for them. It’s really depressing.
  4. There’s nothing “casual” about dating for you. Maybe you’ve tried casual dating because someone you liked suggested it and you thought maybe you could get down with it if it meant having them in your life. You probably discovered soon after that it just doesn’t work for you. It requires caring too little, committing too little, and you don’t see the point in it. You take love seriously—why doesn’t everyone else?
  5. The harder you love, the harder your heart breaks when it goes wrong. Since you put 150% into a relationship and the person you’re in it with when it begins, that means your heart gets shattered extra hard when things don’t work out for whatever reason. You don’t recover easily when a connection dissipates, and every disappointment makes it harder to keep going. Don’t give up.
  6. Being open about what you want and need doesn’t guarantee you’ll get the same honesty in return. You believe that since you’re honest about how you view love and what you want in a partner, your partner will let you know if they don’t feel the same way so that you’re free to move on to someone who is on the same page as you. Unfortunately, that doesn’t happen often. Instead, you get cheated on, lied to, and ghosted, perhaps regularly, and it seriously sucks.
  7. The love you desire is much rarer than you’d hoped. It’s easier said than done, I know, but try not to get too down about this—there’s someone out there who’s perfect for you, just wait and see. The wrong people play games and take love for granted; the right one for you will see it as precious as you know it is in your heart of hearts.


Bolde has been a source of dating and relationship advice for single women around the world since 2014. We combine scientific data, experiential wisdom, and personal anecdotes to provide help and encouragement to those frustrated by the journey to find love. Follow us on Instagram @bolde_media or on Facebook @BoldeMedia