7 Reasons Why You Attract Toxic Men

You’re a great catch and you give your all in relationships but for one reason or another, they come crumbling down as the guy you thought was fantastic at first turns into a living nightmare. There are reasons you keep attracting such toxic dudes—and it’s time to address them:

  1. You’re on the wrong dating apps. You’ve tried all the dating apps but the guys there either don’t want to meet up or they’re addicted to playing dating games.  It all feels so superficial and soul-destroying. If you’re tired of swiping based on appearance and matching with all the wrong people, you should consider other options that provide greater compatibility and deeper connections. For example, Huggle is a fantastic alternative — it works by connecting you to people who go to the same places as you. Before you match, you can see how many places you have in common with someone, which not only gives you an indication of compatibility but works as a great icebreaker when you meet. You can download it here.
  2. You let guys choose you instead of the other way around. You’re a strong, smart, badass woman but all the boyfriends you’ve had were only in your life because they decided to be. You know love doesn’t come around often so while you have standards and expectations, you’ve been guilty of lowering them for guys who were in no way worthy of you just because their attention and admiration felt good. BIG mistake.
  3. You’re too nice. You appreciate that everyone has their own unique thoughts, feelings, and experiences and you pride yourself on being understanding and sympathetic. In fact, you’re so sympathetic that you often end up excusing totally unacceptable behaviors and putting up with situations you know are unhealthy just for the sake of being “nice.” It’s a serious problem.
  4. You keep hoping sex will turn into something more. You’re a mature, intelligent woman and you see nothing wrong with casual hookups on occasion. No strings attached sex is fine when both people are on the same page, but you often find yourself falling for your FWBs and hoping your arrangement might turn into a full-blown relationship. It never does, of course—you’re just a warm body for toxic dudes to get close to on lonely nights.
  5. You go all-in too soon. There’s nothing wrong with giving 100% in a relationship… as long as you’re getting the same in return. When you start bending over backward to accommodate a guy early on and he’s not reciprocating, you risk feeling exhausted, taken for granted, and full of resentment. It’s good to really put yourself out there for love but it’s important to make sure the guy’s worth it first.
  6. You sometimes feel like you don’t deserve love. Most of the time, you know what an amazing woman you are and you believe that the fairy tale is possible. After a particularly bad experience, however, you start to question that belief and instead wonder if maybe the reason you keep coming up empty-handed in love is that you don’t actually deserve it. Your head knows better than this but sometimes the pain in your heart fills you with doubt.
  7. You have a “type” even though you know it’s bad for you. Despite your best efforts, you only find yourself attracted to guys you know are terrible for you. (Un)reformed bad boys are your downfall in more ways than one and while you know you need to up your standards and go maybe go for the boring nice guys this time, you can’t help yourself. It’s no surprise when these relationships go up in flames—they were doomed from the beginning. The sooner you start thinking outside of your “type,” the sooner you might actually be on your way to finding the love you seek.

If you want to finally meet a different kind of guy, download Huggle here.

Bolde has been a source of dating and relationship advice for single women around the world since 2014. We combine scientific data, experiential wisdom, and personal anecdotes to provide help and encouragement to those frustrated by the journey to find love. Follow us on Instagram @bolde_media or on Facebook @BoldeMedia