Could You Handle An Open Relationship? 7 Signs You Should Stick To One Person

Could You Handle An Open Relationship? 7 Signs You Should Stick To One Person ©iStock/BraunS

Open relationships aren’t for everyone — in fact, they’re not for most people. It might not be in your nature to be cool about sharing your partner with another woman (or multiple other women), and it’s not something you can fake. If you relate to any of the following, you’re probably better off staying monogamous.

  1. You can’t control your jealousy. In an open relationship, there’s really no room for jealousy of any kind. You’re in an agreement with your partner to have other options, lovers and relationships. This game isn’t one-on-one, so if you can’t help but envy other players, then you need to get out of the game.
  2. You’re dreaming of your happily ever after. If the only reason you agree to an open relationship now is because you’re hoping he’ll change his mind in the future, you’re making a big mistake. You’re sacrificing your own happiness for his. You can’t risk your heart on a forever after that might never come. You need to live in the now and stop putting your happiness (and sanity) off for a someday dream.
  3. You’re not into casual sex. For you, sex and emotions are irrevocably connected. You’re not a prude,  you’ve just never been interested in sleeping around. You prefer to have one steady partner — that doesn’t mean your sex life is boring, it just means you don’t take sex lightly. For you, there’s nothing casual about it, because if you’re sleeping with someone, then it’s always serious, and there is no room to share.
  4. You’re obsessed with DTR… aka defining the relationship. In the modern dating scene, it can feel like everyone rejects labels, but it shouldn’t be about the “status” for you. It’s about knowing where you stand with one another. An open relationship can be pretty damn complicated and endlessly confusing, so for a girl who needs the lines to be drawn out clearly, openness will never be your comfort zone.
  5. You don’t know how to do your own thing. Open relationships are all about space and separation. To you, that could sound a lot like loneliness. You want a guy who will always be there — a partner, lover and very best friend all rolled into one. You might be a strong, independent woman, but you still want a partner you can lean on. You want a life that’s always intertwined with your partner because separation is your nightmare.
  6. You keep tabs on your significant others. When you’re in a relationship, you’re always checking in with your partner. It doesn’t mean you don’t trust them and it doesn’t make you needy or controlling — it just means you like steady communication. It goes both ways. He always knows where you are and what you’re doing, and he keeps you updated on his day-to-day life. You don’t have secrets, you’re 100% open and despite it being called an “open” relationship, it’s full of keep it to yourself material.
  7. You care too much what other people think. An open relationship just isn’t the norm. That doesn’t make it wrong. You can live your life however you please, but people are always going to have opinions, so if you’re going to invest in an open relationship, you need to be able to brush off the criticism. The only opinions that matter are yours and your partner’s, but if you’re the type of person who always lets public perception in, then you’re not the type of girl who could handle an open relationship.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.