7 Things My Boyfriend & I Disagree About, But Not Enough To Break Up Over

All couples disagree about something or other. Sometimes it’s enough to tear them apart, but other times, they can find a middle ground — or better yet, not care so much about their own wants that they jeopardize their relationship. Really, it’s all about knowing when you can settle, and when you absolutely can’t. That’s why my boyfriend and I can disagree all we want, but when it comes down to it, we both know that if it really mattered that much to one of us, we could make a sacrifice.

Whether or not to get married.

Me: It couldn’t hurt, but I’m not going out of my way to do it. The legal benefits are pretty good, though, as in we’d be able to visit each other if we ended up in the hospital or decide what to do in case one of us dies, so I might opt for it for those reasons.

Him: He just flat out thinks it’s a pointless institution and is only good for getting into the country. You don’t need a piece of paper to know whether you love someone or not.

Whether or not to have kids.

Me: I’m still unsure of this, but since I don’t see a great future for the planet and environment, I’m leaning towards a no. Still, I haven’t completely made up my mind about it.

Him: He’s sure he doesn’t want kids, ever, because once you have them, your life is over. Also, they’re just “a bunch of dumb poop machines”. His words.

Whether higher education is still worth it.

Me: The Internet has made learning pretty much anything possible, and virtually for free. Plus, most things you have to learn in school don’t even apply to the job; everything is about experience. So would I go into debt just for a piece of paper that more and more companies aren’t even looking at anymore? Hell no. Beyond a standard associate’s or bachelor’s, unless you’re trying to be a doctor, I’d skip it.

Him: He still thinks that piece of paper will be important for another couple of years, and he’d go back to school if he could afford it. Unfortunately, we’re in the same boat as most people our age, so it won’t be happening anytime soon.

The importance of knowing how to cook.

Me: Knowing how to cook is important. Think about it. You have to eat a minimum of three times a day (even though we probably eat a bit more often than that) or else you’d die. And takeout is expensive. Also, there are only so many days in a row you can eat instant oatmeal or scrambled eggs and not puke.

Him: Cooking is stupid. No really, he thinks that, and also refuses to learn, which forces me to be the bigger person and make dinner. He doesn’t see knowing how to cook as important because I already know how, and he thinks I’ll just take care of him for the rest of his life. What if I die? What then? He’ll just eat instant oatmeal and scrambled eggs. Obviously.

Living in a minimalist environment.

Me: I understand the appeal, but it seems like a lot of work to actually put into motion and keep up. I just have too much stuff I’m not ready to part ways with, and I’ve tried in the past and failed to even keep my desk clear.

Him: He’s a graphic designer, so naturally, he looks at everything from a design standpoint, and minimalism is the modern trend to follow. But it pisses me off because he keeps arranging my books by their color, as opposed to alphabetically by author. How insane is that? I’ll let him have that, though, because at least he isn’t throwing them away entirely or converting them into e-books.

Trying butt sex.

Me: Yeah, I’m not about to let anyone stick anything into my ass, and I don’t give a damn about what that makes me. I’ve always been pretty sexually conservative anyway, but I’m not even open to trying it, not even once.

Him: Of course he wants to do it. What man isn’t obsessed with your ass? But like I said, it ain’t happening, so he’s just going to have to suck it up.

Admitting when we’re wrong.

Me: If it’s something huge, of course I’ll admit it, but for day-to-day spats and things that aren’t serious, I’m going to be like most other women and never admit fault. Arguing is just something I like to do apparently.

Him: He always admits when he’s wrong, and all the other times, he lets me win. Sometimes, he even just says he’s wrong when he was right. Because that’s what you call love.

Chelsey is a freelance writer in NYC. She's pretty normal by today's standards, or at least that's what her mother tells her.