Even if you’re a strong, independent woman who doesn’t need a man, there are times that leave you longing for a boyfriend. Sure, maybe you’re perfectly happy being single and are far more focused on finding a job you love than a guy you’ll inevitably break up with. But be honest: the second one of these seven things happens, you can’t help but consider asking a friend to set you up, scoping out the local bar scene (as depressing as it might be) or reactivating your OKCupid, despite how creepy it might be.
When it’s time to find your next place. The second you start apartment hunting is when the thought of a serious, long-term boyfriend is the most appealing. As you search Craigslist for potential roommates who don’t look like murderers, you can’t help but peruse the one bedrooms… And you literally can’t afford any of them, including the studio of your greatest fantasies. If only you had someone to split the rent with, you could finally find the apartment of your dreams.
When it’s actually time to move. You did it! You found an apartment that doesn’t look like it’s rat infested and people to live with that you’ve Facebook stalked enough to prove their innocence. Now you have to hire a ridiculously expensive moving company and train for the coming weeks because you’ll be lifting your shoe collection, which may or may not outweigh you. A boyfriend would certainly come in handy when you’re sweating it out and weighed down with boxes, texting friends who’ve managed to mysteriously be out of town when you most need them.
When it’s freezing outside. Netflix and chill is just more comfortable when you have someone to reduce the Arctic temperatures in your bedroom. Once it’s so cold that leaving the house seems entirely overrated, you’re not exactly going to be looking your best for dates weighed down with layers. If only you had invested in an autumn boyfriend you wouldn’t be switching between swiping through Tinder and Seamless.
When there’s an enormous insect nearby. Some ladies are good at getting rid of bugs, but if you’re not one of them (and if you’re not lucky enough to have a roommate or neighbor who’s fearless) a potential critter sighting will have you wondering if it’s weird to ask a tinder match to “come over.” He doesn’t have to know that it’s to get rid of the giant flying cockroach in your bedroom, he just has to think he’s somehow getting into your bedroom.
When it’s time for the annual holiday interrogation. As the holidays approach, you should be filled with Yuletide cheer, not fear. The closer you get to thanksgiving, the more your single status taunts you. After all, it’s hard to explain to your parents that dudes these days have no interest in settling down and you’re more focused on making rent than making the effort to hunt down a husband.
When you need a date for a wedding. Once it’s wedding season, you’re excited for an excuse to wear a perfect dress, but less psyched when it comes to finding a date. As your invitations come in with a plus one, you wonder if your life might be better suited as a romantic comedy where you hire a male escort for weddings, who later turns into the love of your life. Once you realize that trolling Craigslist for someone to travel with redefines sketchy you embrace going stag. After all, there’s always the promise of a handsome groomsmen, and if all else fails there’s the promise of an open bar, which should always come through (and if that’s not an option you shouldn’t RSVP yes at all).
When your ex moves on. The second you see his Facebook status change or that first cute couple Instagram, you’re suddenly scrolling through your phone book, wondering who’ll appear with a late night text. You know he wasn’t good for you, but that doesn’t make it any easier, which is why you’re ready to get a boyfriend, just to beat him at his own game.
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