Even if someone is terrific in almost every way, if they have one major characteristic or habit that drives you crazy, it can be really hard to get past it. In many cases, dealbreakers are a completely logical way of eliminating a lot of future headaches and heartaches, but there are some cases in which it’s worth throwing your list out the window and going for it anyway.
- You’re not hoping to change them.It can be easy to fall into the trap of “They’re so great, but…” If you can’t stop thinking about what’s after the “but,” you probably shouldn’t continue the relationship because it clearly bothers you. If you do happen to meet someone who embodies a trait that usually turns you off but you still like them exactly the way they are, you may be able to get past it in the long run.
- Your personalities just click.There are a lot of different personality types in the world, and some types don’t play well with others by nature. Meeting someone who has a personality that naturally clicks with yours is valuable, and sometimes it can be a deciding factor when it comes to dating someone you would normally avoid.
- You legitimately enjoy every moment you spend with them.If you spend a lot of time with this person and none of it is spent noticing their “flaws”, you may have struck gold. If your dealbreaker was really enough to break the deal, it would affect you when you’re with them. When all of your time spent together is blissful, there’s a good chance that it’ll work out.
- The thought of being without them is so much worse than their “flaw.” Sometimes we use dealbreakers as a convenient excuse to end a relationship that we know isn’t going to work out. It can be easy to forget that there’s an exception to every rule. If the thought of being without them is so much worse than the thought of dealing with that one characteristic forever, you may have found someone very special (and should think twice before giving them up).
- You’re headed in the same direction in life.One of the most challenging aspects of dating today is finding someone with whom your life goals align. If you’ve met someone you like in every way and your life goals align too, there’s a good chance that you may have found your forever (even if you never thought you’d end up with someone like them).
- You have undeniable physical chemistry. Chemistry is important in any relationship, and it can be hard to find. It’s not the most important thing, but, when combined with the right personality traits, it creates an entire package deal that can be difficult to pass up. Honestly, why would you want to?
- You just know.The same inner voice that uses dealbreakers to help you rationalize breaking up with people who are wrong for you also knows when someone is right for you. When you’ve found something real and the deal can’t be broken, you’ll know it. Trust your intuition and enjoy the ride.