We’ve seen it happen time and time again. Boy meets girl, they then start a relationship, girl has friends who are initially happy for her, and then the friends start disappearing. We don’t mean for it to happen, but we often make mistakes that leaves our girlfriends to the wayside. Want to avoid this curse? Here’s how to keep your friends after you fall in love.
- Don’t forget to set aside girl time. There is that early period in every relationship where a couple is inseparable. It’s normal and kind of necessary to build some sort of foundation, but this usually sends off a huge red flag to friends. Avoid being that girl who drops plans last minute and is then tweeting about hanging out with her boyfriend. You may not mean for it to be hurtful, but it is. Naturally your time with your friends will dwindle, but set aside some time with girls so you haven’t gone completely AWOL.
- Realize your friends don’t have to be friends with him. You want to minimize drama so you try to get your friends to be comfortable with your boyfriend. It sounds logical, but it backfires often. Your boyfriend might be angry that you feel like your friend’s approval is necessary when it isn’t. Your relationship is just between you two. Also, your friends might not be too keen on you trying to push your boyfriend into the mix. The two should be civil to each other, and you should feel fine inviting to them to events. But don’t expect anything more than that.
- Stop talking negatively about him. But friends are for venting, right? Well, it’s a tough line to walk. If what’s bugging you is not really that big of a deal then try to keep it to yourself until you work it out. But if you feel like you really need your girls, go for it. Just remember that when he apologizes and you make up, they won’t be there for it – or at least won’t be all that happy about it. Try to keep the gossip to a minimum.
- Stop gossiping about your friends. Yup, it goes both ways! You may have that one friend that drives you nuts and is full of drama. But if you know that she’s there to stay, then you might not want to vent to your man about her. Constantly talking negatively about these friends will make him get tired of them quickly, and want nothing to do with them.
- Remember what it was like being single. You have switched teams, but don’t become the enemy by forgetting how people treated you when you were single. Remember how people assumed you were unhappy just because you weren’t in a relationship, and how that drove you nuts! Remember how you did get annoyed when others who talked constantly about their boyfriends. Basically don’t assume your friend is just “jealous” really try to empathize with what she’s going through.
- Accept that things will change. It’s inevitable. When you’re single your girl is your person, and soon she will be replaced by your boyfriend if it lasts long enough. You’ll confide to him when you’re upset, you’ll go on vacation with him, and you’ll have more inside jokes with him. It’s sad, but a good relationship should be with a man who is your best friend. Accept it!
- Keep the big traditions with them. However remember the things that did keep your friendship strong and try to keep them alive. Did you go on vacations together? You might not be able to do this as often, but do plan them once a while. Do you bond over the same hobby? Keep up with it and continue to turn to your friend to enjoy it together like you used to do.