In the best relationships, the two of you are both on the same page about what you want and how you feel. There are times when one person will be putting in more effort than the other, but this should be a temporary arrangement rather than a permanent one. It’s important to sense if you’re prioritizing him a bit more than he’s prioritizing you. You might want to take a step back if you’ve noticed any of these habits start to appear.
- His phone calls home are very long and somewhat obnoxious. It’s very sweet if he likes chatting with his family. Keeping that bond is very important. But holding a long conversation with them on a date night with you is just plain rude. It’s also a little questionable if he picks up no matter what. If you’ve ever had a dinner date ruined since his mom wanted to talk, that’s a big sign that she’s a bigger priority than you are.
- You’re not featured on his social media at all. It’s nice to have a few couple’s photos on your Instagram timeline. But if this guy’s social media makes it look like he’s single, you may be wondering what kind of message he’s sending out. While you’re not his entire life, you’re a big part of it. Any kind of tag or shout out is just a sweet and polite gesture. If he still has pictures of his exes up and none of you, that’s also a big red flag.
- He doesn’t introduce you to friends or family. It’s an even bigger problem if he doesn’t even acknowledge that you’re his girlfriend. Obviously, you’re putting more weight into the relationship than he is. By not introducing you or making you feel comfortable at family events, he’s more or less admitting that he doesn’t think the relationship has a future. But, he’s waiting to officially make that call until someone else catches his eye.
- He doesn’t ask you about your day. But, he’s very big into telling you about his. Some guys just like to talk and might not realize if they’re being a bit rude. But, some guys really don’t care to ask. And, that’s a distinction you’ll have to make if you’re always feeling like you can never get a word in.
- He easily forgets details you’ve told him. To be fair, it’s been a pretty fuzzy few years. But if you feel like he’s forgetting things since he’s always looking at his phone or iPad, that’s a real problem. Not only should you never come in second to electronics, but you shouldn’t have to keep repeating yourself to get a point across. Communication is one of the most important parts of every relationship. He’s proving he can’t put any real effort into it.
- He forgets your birthday. Birthdays should always be acknowledged in some way. It’s generally important to figure out how a partner views the day, as some people don’t think it’s a big deal. But if this is the third year he’s dropped the ball after fully knowing it’s hurt you in the past, obviously he’s not paying attention or just doesn’t care about your happiness if it causes him a minor inconvenience of getting you a gift and a card.
- It took him a long time to define the relationship. And, he only did it after you mentioned feeling insecure about where you stood in his life. Not all guys will (or should) perform a huge song and dance when making it official, but if this guy dragged his feet and almost had to be pressured into calling you his girlfriend, this isn’t a good match. It proves that he doesn’t really need the relationship to be satisfied with his life right now. If you have doubts about where you fall even after giving each other titles, you need to come to terms with the fact that he’s not that invested in you.
- He refuses to sit down and watch a movie with you if it’s not something he wants to see. Sometimes, it’s not about what’s on-screen. It’s about companionship. If he continuously blows off invites to watch programs, he’s not seeing the full picture. This is such a small sacrifice for him to make. If you try to drag him down to watch episodes of 90 Day Fiancé on a daily basis, that’s one thing. But if he keeps turning down movie date nights simply because he’s not 100% on your movie selection, that’s something else.