8 Important Dating Lessons We Wish We Knew Early On

Most of us have been dating for nearly a decade, if not longer, and unfortunately it never gets any easier. Sometimes you’ll manage to connect with one person more than others and a relationship will result, but if you’re not married or headed in that direction, chances are you’re going through a string of terrible dates and mediocre partnerships that inevitably end up in a messy breakup. Those breakups teach us plenty about ourselves and about what we want from love, but some lessons should be learned as early as possible. It’d certainly make things a whole lot easier!

  1. Meeting people is easy. Meeting the right people is hard. Unless you live in the wilderness on your own, you’re going to be surrounded by people all the time. Meeting new people is really easy. The hard part comes when you’re trying to meet people you actually click with. This is a daily struggle of the dating world.
  2. Some people are shallow. They concern themselves with petty things and stir up drama over inconsequential crap. Personality traits take a back seat to physical appearance and having a “hot” partner is the ultimate status symbol. These people become easier and easier to spot over time because that guy is, like, totally like that one guy from high school.
  3. Breakups are dramatic. They don’t have to be, but they are because the people involved have “overly dramatic” hardwired into their DNA. While each part of the newly defunct couple demands to get all of their stuff back, Facebook statuses are updated in a rage and vicious rumors are spread out of white-hot spite. This breakup is the most important thing in the world, even though neither one of them will remember their former other half’s name five years from now. Some of us move on from this, but way too many don’t.
  4. You’ll always be able to upgrade. Unless you have absolutely no standards and no faith in yourself, there’s always someone better than the last jerk you got involved with. When you have no self-esteem and you’re blind to douchey behavior, you’re severely limiting yourself to all the other great people out there. Be who you think you deserve.
  5. Don’t crap where you eat. Most of your romantic relationships will end. This will be far less painful if you don’t run into your ex every day. The awkward glances and the not-so-subtle ninja dives behind your friends won’t happen if you date people that you wouldn’t normally run into during your day-to-day life. There are lots of potential dates outside of your immediate “zone” and you should take advantage of that.
  6. New couples can be clingy. And it’s nauseating. They act like the world will end if they have to separate from each other for an hour. It’s painful to watch and causes involuntary eye twitching for innocent bystanders. You promise yourself to never, ever behave like that and then you hope that the clingy couple’s union implodes in a spectacular fashion. You know, for the lolz.
  7. People lie. This isn’t necessarily done by a person that’s trying to ruin someone else’s life or generally cause harm. People are going to lie when it suits their agenda. It may be harmless or it may cause a poo-flinging showdown. Either way, you’re going to be lied to eventually by someone you’re dating.
  8. Failed relationships aren’t the end of the world. Sure, it sucks at the time, but life goes on. The world isn’t going to stop spinning because Johnny left you for someone else and refuses to give your Easy Bake Oven back. These things are trivial and their insignificance will become more apparent to you over time as you learn not to sweat the little things.
Lauren Clark is a writer and news curator based in Denver, Colorado with bylines here on Bolde and at Inside.com. While she’s vehemently anti-social media, you can find her on LinkedIn.