Finding out that someone doesn’t like you can be crushing, especially when you really like them. But it’s better to know than not know the truth—that way you won’t keep hounding them for a relationship when they don’t want it. Trust that your time is better spent on people who do like you! Keep reading for the little signs that someone doesn’t like you so you can stop wasting your time and go find someone who appreciates how awesome you are.
- They never initiate conversation. Someone who likes you wants to talk to you. Excepting those who purposefully try to play it cool, a person who likes you will text you first. They’ll call you and send you direct messages on social media. If you run into them out, they’ll want to hold a conversation with you. If it’s always you who has to start the conversation, that’s a red flag that they don’t like you. At least, not as much as you like them.
- They don’t maintain conversation. Not only will someone who likes you initiate a conversation with you; they’ll also maintain that conversation. If you ask them how their day was, they’ll tell you and then ask you how yours was. By comparison, someone who doesn’t share those feelings tends to give closed answers that don’t invite any more chatting from you.
- They’re never available to catch up. When you like someone, you want to see them. No matter how busy you are or how anxious you are about it, if you really like them you’ll find a way to make it work. So someone never being available to catch up with you is a sign that they’re just not interested. They might be too polite to tell you that they don’t want to see you, so they’ll always make an excuse as to why they can’t make it. One or even two excuses might be valid, but any more than that and you can almost be sure that they don’t like you.
- They see other people and don’t try to hide it. Does the person you like date other people? Do they talk about it openly in front of you and not try to hide it? Then that could be a red flag. If they date others or even flirt with others in front of you, it could mean that they don’t like you and don’t even see you as a potential romantic interest. This is different from people who go out of their way to rub their love lives in your face. Those people might be doing so out of trying to make you jealous (although that’s not the best move either). But being indifferent about showing off their love life in front of you shows that there are probably no real feelings there.
- They don’t care about your wellbeing. When a person likes you, they care about your wellbeing. For example, if you go on a date with a guy and you have to walk to your car late at night after the date, most guys who are interested in you would offer to walk with you. Similarly, a person who cares about you won’t text you after midnight if they know you’re sleeping and they might wake you up. While failing to do these things might come down to carelessness, more often than not it shows that the person just doesn’t care about you enough to look out for you.
- They never pay you attention in a group setting. In a group setting with someone who likes you, say at a party, that person will often stare at you when they think you’re not looking. You might also find that they keep “appearing” around you, almost as if they’re following you around in a subtle way. Often, this happens because they like you, want to be around you, and are hoping you’ll talk to them. On the flip side, someone who doesn’t like you won’t pay you any attention in a group setting. You won’t catch them staring and they won’t keep showing up where you go.
- They don’t listen when you talk. A person who likes you will listen to you when you talk. They’ll remember the smaller details and take on board the things you say. By contrast, someone with no feelings probably won’t process everything you say. Your words won’t be as special to them. So they won’t retain that information like they would if they had feelings for you.
- Their friends or family haven’t heard of you. If you’ve been hanging out with someone for a while but they haven’t told their friends or family about you, that’s not a great sign. Often, it means that they don’t like you enough to envision you in their life for the long term. Keep in mind, though, that this could also mean that they like to move slowly. Maybe they just don’t want to introduce you yet! But usually, people will at least mention the person they like, especially to close family and friends.