8 Misconceptions About Being Single That Drive Me Nuts

8 Misconceptions About Being Single That Drive Me Nuts ©iStock/SanneBerg

Just because I fall into the single category doesn’t mean anyone has the right to put a label on every aspect of my life — especially when they get it wrong more often than not. Here are some of the biggest misconceptions people have about me (and other women who are rolling solo) that drive me insane:

  1. That I’m automatically miserable. It is, in fact, possible to be happily single. Sure, some girls might find the single life depressing, but there’s no one size fits all here — every situation is different. Just because I’m single doesn’t mean I’m crying yourself to sleep every night. In fact, I’m actually having a blast.
  2. That there’s something wrong with me. Sometimes I actually think this myself, but I do know it’s not true. Just because I’m single doesn’t mean you’re not worthy of a relationship. Just because I’ve been through a lot of breakups doesn’t mean I’m a crappy girlfriend. I just haven’t found the right one yet, and that’s OK.
  3. That I’m damaged relationship goods. Not every single girl has had her heart broken. True, some single women carry heavy baggage, but that doesn’t make them damaged. We all have a past, and we shouldn’t be judged for it. I deserve a chance at happiness and love, no matter what I’ve been through.
  4. That I have a wild sex life. Some women bask in their freedom by exploring their sexual desires; other women stay celibate until they find a partner they really love. Either way, it’s really nobody else’s business but my own (though that doesn’t seem to stop people from making assumptions about it).
  5. That I’m lonely. Just because I don’t have a boyfriend doesn’t mean I’m alone. Single women still have people they care about in their lives, and I know I’m not defined by my relationship status anyway. I’ve got family and friends I love and who love me right back, so I’m doing just fine, thanks.
  6. That I hate all happy couples. Insert eye roll. I’m not wishing bad omens on every happy couple in the world. It’s possible to not have romantic love in my life and be happy for those that do. Sure, the constant bragging on social media can get a little annoying, but surely some married women think that too. I’m happy for others’ happily ever after, I just want to find mine too.
  7. That I’m dumb when it comes to love. I’m not just some fool who lets myself continuously get played. Yes, some single women might benefit from playing the game a little smarter, but not all solo ladies are single because they keep falling for the red flag douchebags of the world. I’m holding out for a guy who meets (and exceeds) all my expectations, and that sounds pretty damn smart.
  8. That this life isn’t the one I want. Some women choose to be single because it does in fact make them happier. Sure, maybe they’d change their mind if the right guy came along, but in the meantime, they’re not going to settle. Settling for an unhappy and unhealthy relationship is weak; being single while I hold out for happily ever after is brave. I know the difference, and I’m not ashamed of it.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.