I’m not even going to attempt to defend some of the flaws many of us guys have or the common mistakes we often make. However, I will say that women do tend to make assumptions about guys that just aren’t true and I’d like to clear up a few of them.
- Men never get jealous. If you’ve never dated a guy who exhibits signs of jealousy, you’re lucky. The truth is that guys can get insecure or possessive just as easily as women, and that can certainly lead to feelings of jealousy about their partner. To be fair, we may not outwardly show our jealousy and in fact, we usually try to hide it. However, there are definitely signs your boyfriend is jealous or at least prone to jealousy that you can watch for throughout the course of your relationship.
- Men aren’t sensitive. Yes, most men are programmed to put up a tough exterior. It can be one of the bigger flaws of our kind. But you’d be surprised at how many of us have a sensitive side deep down. We will usually try to hide it as best we can, of course. However, most guys aren’t afraid to show it a bit when we’re sure we’ve met the right person.
- Men are anti-commitment. Sure, most younger fellows only care about themselves and have no intention of committing to a long-term relationship, but men are by no means anti-commitment by nature. Sometimes it just takes a little bit of time, so that side of a guy may not come out until he reaches a certain age. However, almost every guy is open to commitment if we find the right person. The trick is to not push too hard for him to commit too early. Instead, let him figure out that he’s down with a long-term relationship.
- Men only care about sex. OK, so I’m never going to convince anyone that men don’t care about sex at all, but it’s by no means the only thing we care about. Whether we realize/admit it or not, men do care about making an honest connection with other people. Sometimes that can be misconstrued as only meeting people as a means to have sex with them, but guys do want to find that deeper connection, even if we also want sex to be a pitstop on that journey.
- Only looks matter. Yes, men can be shallow, so it’s easy to make this assumption. But keep in mind that what you look like is almost always the first thing a guy learns about you. Whether in real life or on a dating app, that’s your first impression, so it’s all a guy can go on in the beginning. Sure, most guys won’t show interest in you if they don’t feel a physical attraction, but you’d also be surprised how quickly a woman who’s interesting and has a good sense of humor can win over a guy more than how she looks.
- Men are stubborn. Admittedly, this is a tough one to argue against. The problem is that most guys don’t like skirting around an issue. If you do this, we can get a little defensive and stubborn. The key is to be direct with us. Rather than telling us about our problems, try offering solutions. Most men will be a lot more receptive to this and less likely to dig into our own point of view.
- Men feel obligated to make the first move. Sure, guys who still think they’re living in the 20th century may feel this way, but most men nowadays are progressive enough to acknowledge that women are capable of making the first move sometimes. Most of the time, we still make the first move the old-fashioned way, but more and more of us are totally cool and actually flattered when women make the first move.
- Men are poor communicators. I understand why guys get a bad reputation for being closed off and unwilling to openly communicate with women. But this is becoming less and less true. Guys are just a little more careful about what we say, especially soon after meeting someone. We’re not always sure how a woman will react, and if we like you, we don’t want to say the wrong thing. The truth is we’re a little worried about how you might receive our blunt honesty. Most men are fine about opening up and communicating honestly—you just need to break through our outer shell until we’re comfortable enough with you to do that.
