8 Questions You Should Never Ask Your New Boyfriend’s Friends

8 Questions You Should Never Ask Your New Boyfriend’s Friends ©iStock/Geber86

Relationships mean meeting all the people in your new boyfriend’s life, which can be pretty overwhelming. Obviously you can charm them just by being your wonderful self, but if you tend to get a little crazy when you’re nervous, just make sure you never ask your new boyfriend’s friends these 8 questions:

  1. How was his relationship with his ex? Not only are you prying, but you also look jealous and make it seem like you don’t trust him. Do you think he has something to hide? Trust is a foundation in any relationship, and jealousy from the beginning is a surefire way to scare him off. If there are things that need to be shared, it’ll happen in due time, but it should come directly from him. 
  2. What are the red flags? They’re not honestly going to talk down their friend, and why would you even ask them to? Let him have his past, just like you have yours. We all make mistakes, but would you want your friends revealing yours? He probably wants to share those things with you himself. After all, it’s always better coming from the primary source.
  3. Is he ready to settle down? This is a discussion for you and your boyfriend, and when he’s ready, he’ll tell you. Hearing it from his friends means nothing, because there’s a reason he didn’t say it to you himself. If the relationship is new, it looks like you’re jumping the gun bigtime.
  4. Does he talk about our future? Guys don’t usually discuss stuff like this with their friends. While girls talk about everything under the sun, guys are always trying to get the most laugh. You can’t take the future plans he’s told his friends too seriously. Listen to what he says to you — odds are, your conversations are a lot more serious than the ones he has with his bros. 
  5. What’s your number? Why? It’s pushy. They are his friends, not yours. Maybe someday you’ll all be friends, but in the beginning you should just let things happen naturally. Eventually you’ll probably end up with their numbers for one reason or another, but in the beginning what’s the need? Are you going to call and check up on him when he’s not answering? That should be a firm no, and there’s your firm reason to avoid this question.
  6. How much does he like me? Asking your man’s mates about your own relationship makes you sound insecure. Let him tell you (and show you) how much he likes you on his own. You don’t need confirmation from his friends, they’re around to boost his ego, not yours.
  7. What do you think of me? It’s awkward. What are they supposed to say? You’ll never get an honest answer when you confront them like this. Let the relationship develop on its own and you’ll see the answer for yourself.
  8. What’s his relationship with her? If your guy has female friends, get over it. Obsessing will only ruin your relationship. After all, she was there first, and if you act like a jealous monster, she’ll be around long after you. Worrying about your new man’s other relationships only makes you look jealous and controlling. Not a good impression on him or his friends.

Your man’s friends are probably some of the most important people in his life, so introducing you is a big step. Avoiding these 8 questions will help you make a good impression on the friends and on your man. Take a breather and be yourself, get to know them with no ulterior motive and they love you simply for loving their man.

Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.