Do you ever meet a great guy and immediately get suspicious as to why he’s still single? Sure, sometimes it might seem too good to be true, but there are plenty of reasons why a genuinely good dude isn’t in a serious relationship—and most of them aren’t inherent dealbreakers. Here’s what might be going on.
- He’s easily intimidated. Whether you ladies realize it or not, you can be intimidating sometimes, especially if you’re a great catch. Some guys out there like the idea of dating a strong, independent woman, but they also aren’t sure if they’re enough so they never end up making the first move. The result is a guy who’s single for a long time because he doesn’t have the guts to approach the kind of women who are a good fit for him.
- He doesn’t know what he wants. On the other side of the spectrum are guys with no clue what they want. Some of us don’t know if we should be looking for a particular type of women or if we’ll just know when we’ve found the right one. When it comes to love, we’re utterly lost. This kind of guy always has good intentions but he gets nervous about committing to one person, and so he remains single.
- He’s insecure. Yes, guys get insecure too. To be fair, a lot of us come off as confident and borderline cocky, but many are insecure deep down, especially the good guys. Sometimes a good guy will see a cocky jerk get the girl and start thinking that he doesn’t have a chance with women because he’s not that type of guy. Little does he know that there are plenty of wonderful women out there who’d be happy with a good guy. In any event, he ends up lacking confidence and doesn’t make enough of an effort to get a serious girlfriend, keeping him single.
- He covets his freedom. For the record, freedom doesn’t always mean sleeping with a different person every night. Obviously the good guys aren’t doing that. However, there are plenty of good guys who equate getting into a relationship with losing the freedom and spontaneity in their lives that they love. This kind of guy isn’t opposed to a relationship but he does see it as a hindrance to his current lifestyle. It just means that he needs a girlfriend who can fit into the free and active lifestyle he wants.
- He has a fixed image of the perfect woman. Most of us are guilty of this to some extent. We have this vision of the perfect person and are unwilling to settle for someone who doesn’t fit it perfectly. Naturally, it’s difficult to find someone who has every single trait we could possibly want in a partner. If a guy has this vision of the perfect woman, he’s sometimes unwilling to settle for anything less. He goes on an impossible quest for a woman who checks all of his boxes and ends up being single for far longer than he planned.
- He’s an introvert. You can call them shy or antisocial, but there’s nothing wrong with a guy who’s introverted—they’re just a little different. In fact, guys who are shy or introverted can make for great boyfriends and husbands. Of course, the problem is that they usually don’t go out to bars or clubs and they tend to not be active on dating apps. As a result, it’s tough to meet these kinds of men, which is why they stay single. Also, if you do meet one, it could be on you to make the first move.
- He’s been scarred by past relationships. We’ve all had a bad breakup at one point in our lives. It’s important to keep in mind that it happens to guys too and that everybody responds to it differently. A lot of good guys who are open with their emotions tend to take a bad breakup to heart. They wear their hearts on their sleeves, and so a bad breakup can really mess with their heads. It could make a guy like this extra cautious and maybe a little afraid to get into another relationship. You have to take things slowly so that he trusts you before things start to get too serious.
- He’s afraid of failure. By nature, most guys are competitive and love to succeed at whatever they do. This can also translate to relationships because a guy doesn’t want to get into one if he doesn’t think it’s going to work and last for a long time. This is why you sometimes meet seemingly good guys who are still single and only say they want something casual. Deep down, a fear of failing at a relationship is what’s keeping them from getting into one. It can be tricky to get a guy like this to put that fear aside and get serious with someone, but it’s possible.
