8 Reasons A Real Man Would Never Cheat On A Woman He Loves

I never really realized just how awful cheating was until my husband was unfaithful to me. I realized that even what I had imagined couldn’t compare to the reality of just how devastating it is. In other words, it sucks. But what I’ve come to realize is that men, real men, would never actually cheat on someone they love. Here’s why:

  1. Real men do the right thing even if it hurts. There’s a great quote from the movie Lars and the Real Girl where Ryan Gosling’s character asks his older brother how you know when you’re a man. Although his brother sort of stumbles at first, he eventually answers, “Being a man means doing right even when it hurts; not cheating on your woman; admitting when you’re wrong.” Yep. I’d say that pretty much nails it.
  2. Real men respect the woman they’re with. With love, real love, comes respect. Only a total douchebag would insult a woman in such a way, with an utter lack of respect for her feelings and, let’s be honest, her sanity. A real man is respectful and wouldn’t dare to be so callously hurtful.
  3. Real men have self-respect. Not only do real men respect the women they’re with, but they respect themselves, too. It’s when people don’t respect themselves, that they tend to hell up. If you think you’re a piece of crap to begin with, there’s nothing to stop you from acting like a piece of crap.
  4. Real men know how to say no to temptation. I’m the first person to admit that temptation is the WORST. But, even though I have found myself in tempting situations while I was married, I knew to walk away, because I respected my partner and respected myself. Granted, the former feeling of respect no longer exists, but at least I know that walking away from temptation is possible and something only real women and real men are capable of.
  5. Real men value what they have. As a New Yorker, I see just how often men love with one foot out the door. It seems like guys here are always looking for the next best thing, and it’s heartbreaking. However, a real man genuinely values what they have, accepting any and all flaws or complications in the relationship, and because of this, he won’t cheat.
  6. Real men don’t want to tarnish their reputation. As the saying goes, “Once a cheater, always cheater,” and I’d say that’s a fairly true statement. But in being labeled a cheater is nothing no respectable, real man wants. It’s something that follows him forever. No real man wants to be put in that category of gutter trash.
  7. Real men consider the other women in their life. If a man has a mother (and I’m sure most do), or a sister or daughter, there’s a good chance that they take into consideration how they would feel if they were cheated on by their partner. In knowing that they wouldn’t want to see such betrayal or devastation happen to the other women in their life, a real man is less likely to do it to their partner, because they’re able to see it from another perspective.
  8. Real men give a damn. Here’s the deal: Real men give a damn. They give a damn about their partner, themselves, their ability to walk away from temptation, and just in general. They don’t half-ass things, they’re committed, devoted, and when they feel like maybe their relationship has run its course, they end it before cheating. Why? Because real men don’t cheat on the woman they love or the woman they once loved, if that love has died. They just don’t; they do the right thing.
Amanda Chatel is a sexual health, mental health, and wellness journalist with more than a decade of experience. Her work has been featured in Shape, Glamour, SELF, Harper's Bazaar, The Atlantic, Forbes, Elle, Mic, Men's Health and Bustle, where she was a lifestyle writer for seven years. In 2019, The League included Amanda in their "15 Inspirational Feminists Every Single Person Should Follow on Twitter" list.

Amanda has a bachelor's degree in English and master's degree in Creative Writing from the University of New Hampshire. She divides her time between NYC, Paris, and Barcelona.

You can follow her on Instagram @la_chatel or on Twitter @angrychatel.