8 Reasons You Shouldn’t Be In a Rush To Lock Things Down With A Guy

When you meet someone and there’s an instant connection, it’s natural to want to dive in head first and lock stuff down with your new boyfriend ASAP — but since nothing worth having comes quite so easily, this is usually a recipe for disaster. Of course love isn’t always rational, but that doesn’t mean you should sabotage your relationship by rushing it.

You barely know him. If it seems like you met just yesterday because you kinda did, that should tell you all you need to know. Rushing to get serious with a guy whose real personality, quirks and flaws you don’t even know yet isn’t just stupid, it makes no sense. If things are meant to be, you can get serious later. For now, take your time to feel him out and see if he’s worthy of the commitment you’re ready to give him.

You may be doing it for the wrong reasons. There are plenty of terrible reasons people get into relationships — maybe he’s rich and you’re broke, or maybe dating him is easy and means you don’t have to go to the three weddings you have scheduled this summer alone. Whatever the reason, rushing into a relationship because it’s convenient is never a good idea. It just guarantees things will go south, and probably fast.

Somebody’s bound to get hurt. If you rush into things, it likely means at least one of you is really into it. But if you rush through the motions with someone who genuinely cares and then realize you don’t return his feelings, that’s going to break his heart, or vice versa. That could all be avoided if you just slow down.

You might still be hung up on someone else. Maybe you feel like finding a rebound, and then the perfect guy shows up. You want to jump right in and completely forget about your ex, but by getting ahead of yourself by committing before you’re really ready, chances are you’ll end up comparing him to the person you’re trying to forget. It’s like some kind of crappy reverse psychology.

You alienate the people closest to you. If you’re suddenly spending all your free time with someone new, your friends and family might be a little miffed. This is especially true if they don’t know him at all. On the one hand, they don’t want you to get hurt, but it’s also annoying to have your best friend ditch you for her boyfriend of three weeks.

It’s lust, not love. The sex is amazing, you have the best conversations, and you just feel this intense connection. Unfortunately, that could also be lust — and if you only just met, it probably is. If you jump into a relationship right away, you might not realize it’s not really love until after you’ve committed.

You’re focusing on the labels. You’re so focused on achieving a new label — boyfriend, fiancé, husband — that you don’t pay attention to what it actually means. Yes, it can be exciting to be able to use the word “boyfriend” after months or even years, but not at the expense of actually developing your relationship to that point. Labels don’t mean anything when you don’t put enough work into earning them.

You’ll always wonder if this is what you really want. Committing to this guy seems like a good idea now, but as soon as you have a chance to breathe and evaluate things, maybe not? You’ll start questioning things you didn’t have the chance to question before. You’ll wonder if he’s really that perfect, or if you could still do better. That could make you want out, and fast.

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