8 Reasons You Should Thank The Guy Who Didn’t Love You The Way You Wanted/Needed Him To

You’ve probably experienced unrequited love in some form or another before and if you haven’t, consider yourself lucky. It hurts when you truly love and care for someone and they just aren’t giving you the same in return. However, here are a few reasons you should actually be grateful for the guy who broke your heart into a million pieces, as silly as that sounds.

  1. If he was taking you for granted, you’re too good for him anyway. If this was a guy that you were totally devoted to and he wasn’t treating you like the queen that you are, trust me when I say that you’re so much better off without him. Be thankful to him for giving you so many reasons to leave because once you’re free from that waste of time, you’re available to meet someone who will actually value and cherish you.
  2. He showed you what you definitely don’t want from a relationship. Make a wish list of sorts and write down all of the traits that would be ideal in a partner. Also, write out a column of qualities that are completely unacceptable, whether they’re things you’ve experienced in a past relationship or things that you hope to never encounter. Make sure to include all of the negative things you went through with your last partner so that you never have to go through those things again. Then, when you’re ready to put yourself back out there, use your wish list to guide you when you’re meeting new people.
  3. He showed you what feeling alone in a relationship is like. Relationships that don’t contain reciprocity can be very lonely for the person who isn’t receiving love. While those feelings can be extremely painful and isolating, we can also learn a lot from them as well. Once you’re out of that relationship, try not to dwell on the past but instead remember the impact that loneliness had on you and use it to remind yourself that won’t ever accept treatment like that from anyone ever again. The right man for you will never make you feel alone, believe me.
  4. He helped you see your true worth. When you’re in a relationship with someone who isn’t loving you back, you often blame yourself and try to search within yourself to find the big flaw or the reason that you’re not good enough for them. After a while, hopefully, you’ll come to realize that there is nothing wrong with you and you are MORE than enough, you’re just in the wrong relationship. Everything that he might think is missing from your relationship or wrong will be perfect for the right guy for you. Don’t let the wrong man make you feel less than.
  5. He showed you how to forgive. Sometimes there simply aren’t feelings there and you can’t force what doesn’t exist. It doesn’t make it hurt less, but you can choose to walk away from a relationship that’s not serving you and forgive him for not being able to love you the way you loved him.
  6. He freed you up for your soulmate. Do you ever get into a great relationship and find yourself thinking back on past experiences feeling like, “thank God that didn’t work out”? If you haven’t had that experience yet, just wait. It is one of the best feelings in the world to know that you’ve found your person and it’s such a relief to know that you aren’t stuck with someone who makes you feel inadequate or undervalued. Life is far too short to waste your time with someone who doesn’t think you’re the greatest person on earth.
  7. He showed you how to find your voice. When you’re not getting what you need from a relationship, you often have to be the one to choose to speak up. It’s so important to be open and honest with your partner about how you’re feeling and tell them what you need and want from your relationship with them. Whether they’re willing to listen and consider your feelings or not, you have to have the courage to stand up for yourself and speak your mind. If this relationship teaches you one thing, let it be that your voice matters.
  8. He showed you how to never take your great relationships for granted. The biggest positive thing that can come out of bad relationships is that you will always feel grateful for the good relationships that come along afterward. Always remember that in order to receive respect, love, and be valued by our partners, we have to give them the same back. If you have a guy in your life who always makes you feel loved, don’t take it for granted. Make sure you let him know how much he means to you and rest easy in that feeling knowing that the guy who broke your heart was all part of the journey to your soulmate.
Shelby is a journalist and fiction writer raised in the South but built for the big city. She's a book nerd (well, an overall nerd, honestly) and coffee addict and obsessed with all things leather and lacy.

She has a bachelor’s degree in Mass Communication and Media Studies from Sam Houston State University and worked for her university newspaper, The Houstonian, as well as serving as a producer and part-time entertainment anchor for Cable 7 Huntsville. You can follow her on Twitter @shelby777.