8 Signs You’re Giving Him Too Much Power Over You

8 Signs You’re Giving Him Too Much Power Over You ©iStock/PeopleImages

You love him and you’d do anything for him, but maybe that’s the problem. If you’re not living for yourself, you’re just living for your relationship. It’s a tragic love story and the worst part is you don’t even see it. You might think you’re just head over heels, but the truth is you’ve lost all power.

  1. You drop everything for him. Whether that’s your job, friends or family — whenever he calls, you come running. Regardless of what you lose in the process. He’s more than your top priority. He’s everything—the sun, the moon and the sky. Just remember that if all your eggs are in one basket, they’ll all break at the same time.
  2. You’re always there for him, but he never returns the gesture. Relationships are about partnership, but yours is all about him and nothing about you. When he needs anything at all, you’re always there. When you need him, he’s nowhere to be found. Why do you settle for a guy you can’t depend on? You can’t be the foundation of your relationship, because sometimes you need a shoulder to lean on too.
  3. You make all the sacrifices. He doesn’t have to sacrifice anything to be with you, but you give up everything for him. Relationships are give and take, but you seem to be doing all the giving and getting nothing in return. Whether you’ve given up your friends or sacrificed your career, if it was important to you, then it matters. Just ask yourself this: would he be willing to do the same for you?
  4. You’ve become a yes-girl. Whatever he asks, “yes” is your answer. To him, “no” isn’t even in your vocabulary. The relationship has become so one-sided that he actually thinks your job is to make him happy. Your decisions are no longer your own. He makes all your choices, and you better be happy about it, because he won’t accept anything less than, “Yes, dear.”
  5. You give up on your beliefs. You find yourself doing things you’d never thought you would, and not in a good way. You find yourself ditching every girl’s night. Go past your boundaries in the bedroom. You even forgive him when he cheats. You let your love consume your individuality. You’re no longer the person you used to be, you’re just the girl he wants you to be. How sad.
  6. You put his needs before your own. Somewhere down the line, you forgot to love yourself. You’re so focused on loving him that you forget you have needs too. He’s the priority in this relationship. His needs will always come first, and yours will always come second. That’s the way he wants it to be, because he only loves you for loving him.
  7. You give him unlimited chances. There’s no betrayal too big to forgive and no mistake too hurtful to forget. He walks all over you and you just let him. You said you would never be that girl — you know, the one who excuses all of her boyfriend’s BS behavior — but that’s exactly who you are, and by now it feels like you’re too far in to ever get yourself out.
  8. You check in like he’s your parent. You shouldn’t have to get your boyfriend’s permission to hang out with your girls. He doesn’t need to know where you are every single second of every single day. He’s not your keeper, but you let him be. He has all of the control. You can’t make a move without asking him first. Say goodbye to being your own person, and hello to being defined as someone else’s girl.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.