8 Signs He’s Going To Dump You As Soon As You Sleep With Him

­­The sad truth is you can rarely be 100% sure this isn’t going to happen. In some instances, this was the only purpose he had from the start, while in others, something could have rubbed him wrong along the way of getting to know you or his feelings could change after the act. If this has ever happened to you, you know how crummy it can make you feel and obviously would never want to go through it again. Here are 8 warning signs that serve as a warning that this silly move is a possibility to come.

  1. He’s rushing the relationship. It’s normal to be excited if you like someone. But wanting to advance your relationship to further levels in a short time span should be cause for pause. Not saying love at first sight doesn’t happen and there are certainly successful couples who have hit it off and gone straight to the altar, but in many cases, someone who pushes the status of the relationship along prematurely tends to have a hidden agenda. We all want the security of a title and to know there’s a possibility of a future with someone we like, but if it’s right you should feel comfortable and be okay with moving at a natural and reasonable pace.
  2. He drops a lot of sexual innuendos into the convo. He’s testing your boundaries. If you laugh it off or play along, this is a promising sign for him. If you put up resistance, he can play the good guy by trying to backpedal or agreeing with you that it’s not the right time. If he still tries his luck physically, he was blowing smoke with those words. If a guy is attracted to you, obviously hooking up would be somewhere in his mind, but out of respect and appropriate timing it isn’t necessary to bring it up right away or before both of you are ready to take that step.
  3. He teases you with flashes of disapproval. This is a way of coaching you to lower your standards and be flexible with your boundaries. It’s something simple as a small pout or an interjection such as “hmph” when you don’t agree with him. At first, he may just say he’s joking or playing around with you, but this could also be gaslighting and escalate into serious limit-pushing territory. It’s important to catch glimpses of someone who doesn’t respect you to gauge whether he’s capable of hitting and quitting.
  4. He doesn’t ask you about yourself and your background. Someone who is genuine about pursuing you and building a relationship with you wants to know who they’re dealing with. Someone who wants to get some will keep the convo light-hearted, superficial, and a little flirty. He will likely prioritize sending pictures over dissecting your thoughts. Not saying you should expect a Spanish inquisition or game of 21 questions, but if a guy doesn’t seem to care about your family, upbringing, interests, etc. then I would feel suspect about his intentions.
  5. On the other hand, he asks a lot about you while being evasive about himself. He doesn’t want to be known and establish a mutual bond with you. He just wants the upper hand by uncovering all of your vulnerable areas. This also gives you a false sense of trust in him because it seems like he cares and is a good listener when he’s just doing this for the wrong reasons. Some guys are private or take longer to open up, but if he likes you, you should see signs of him breaking out of his shell not dancing around subjects more and more. This could escalate to flat out ignoring a question you ask or topic you bring up and continuing the convo otherwise.
  6. Sex happens too soon. The timing of when it’s okay to have sex in a new relationship is debatable, but I say “too soon” to mean it’s not appropriate for that particular situation. Every instance is different, which is why it’s hard to have a set formula for when it’s right, but if there isn’t a true amazing instant connection and things are just okay or just regular, then it should probably wait. I would just say in general when intercourse happens in the early stages of a relationship (the “talking stage”), there’s a risk.
  7. Alternatively, you push sex right away. Not all guys are dogs. If he was being reserved and taking it slow, your impulsive advances may send him packing. He may go along with the act because he’s still human, but if it wasn’t on his agenda and he was really just trying to get to know you and develop a respectable association with you, he may get turned off by your lack of discretion and self-control and write you off from a potential long-term partnership. Don’t make the mistake of turning yourself into a fling.
  8. His effort drastically drops off. This is the guy who takes you on one or two amazing dates and only wants to come over from then on. It’s basically a f*boy bait-and-switch tactic: dangle courtship in your face then pull it away for subsequent Netflix and chill sessions.
I’m Cara, not to be confused with Carrie, although you could say I’m a Millennial Bradshaw of sorts. Pop culture connoisseur. Lover of all things creative and passionate about health and personal well-being. Follow me on IG @cara_vale_writer