When you love someone, it can cause you to be blind to a lot of things. Someone may be mistreating you but you might not even realize it because you’re so consumed by your feelings for them. Keep a lookout for these signs which could mean that the person you’re with isn’t actually worthy of you and that you’re just making excuses and are in denial.
- You’re the only person who tolerates them. I’m sure you’ve been in a situation before where a friend of yours has a boyfriend or girlfriend that you really just don’t like. Of course, they’re obsessed with them and it’s really hard for you to understand how because you find their personality unlikeable. Try to imagine that scenario turned around. If your friends and family all seem to feel uneasy or unsure about your partner, it may not be a reason to abruptly end your relationship, but it might be a reason to ask them for advice.
- You’re compromising your deal breakers. If you find that you’re letting things slide that you normally never put up with in relationships, that is a definite sign that you’re making excuses for them. It’s okay to compromise on tiny things – in fact, that’s inevitable in long-term relationships – but when it comes to things that are really important to you, you shouldn’t ignore red flags. Ask yourself why you’re brushing these things off and not confronting them and letting your partner know their behavior needs to change. If you’re just pretending like these things don’t bother you when they actually do, you need to reassess.
- You always give in when an argument arises. Every now and then you might find yourself giving in during an argument with your partner. You might be going round and round and just not seeing eye-to-eye with each other so, just calling a truce is sometimes the best thing to do. However, if you feel like whenever you get into a fight with your partner, they constantly refuse to see your side of things and you’re left feeling like your only option is to give in to what they want every single time, this is a sign that this person isn’t right for you. Love involves compromise and you shouldn’t have to be the one surrendering every time.
- You blame yourself for all the problems in your relationship. Blaming yourself can seem easier than actually admitting that your partner is exhibiting unacceptable behavior. If your partner has anger issues, is jealous, always starting fights with you, or just consistently cooking up problems between the two of you and your first instinct is to find a way to blame yourself for everything, this is a definite sign that you’re simply making excuses for a partner who is completely unworthy of your time and energy.
- You don’t hold them accountable for anything. Whether they say something unkind to you, forget something that’s important to you, or any other mistake, if you’re not holding them accountable as they should be, it’s obvious that you’re just making excuses for them. Nobody is perfect and when someone makes a mistake, there’s a certain level of grace and forgiveness that’s understandable. However, they need to own up to what they’ve done and apologize to you. If they’re not acknowledging their mistakes and you’re not making them, you’re just in denial.
- You do all the work without even asking them. In relationships, there should be an even split of effort. It’s all about give and take, and it can be a very unhealthy dynamic for any relationship if one person is doing all the work while the other one just reaps all the benefits. If your first instinct is to immediately do everything yourself whether it’s housework, planning dates, or even organizing surprises for things like anniversaries without even considering letting your partner take on some of the responsibility, it’s a sign that you’re simply doing all of the work. That’s because you already know that they won’t step up and do anything anyway, so you don’t even ask. If this doesn’t bother you, you’re definitely deep in denial. It should bother you.
- You blame their situation rather than them. If you’re looking for an excuse for why someone acts the way that they do, you’ll never run out of things to say. When others confront you about how horribly your partner acts and you react by blaming their stressful job, their family, their health, their past, or anything else other than their choices, you’re just looking for any and every excuse to avoid admitting the truth. The truth is that you’re in denial and you simply want to just avoid facing the fact that they’re not good for you and they don’t deserve you.
- You’ve started avoiding seeing friends and family. When you’re in a bad relationship, it doesn’t take long for the people who care about you to start intervening and talking to you about it. If you’ve found yourself avoiding social situations lately or finding excuses not to go out and see other people, there’s a good chance you’re avoiding them because you know they’re right and don’t want to keep hearing the truth. If you’re avoiding discussion of it, it’s a clear sign you’re aware of the problem, you’re just making excuses for it.
