If you know in your heart that you’re not interested in marriage, it’s irritating to feel the pressure from all sides to go down that road anyway. Traditional values hold marriage as the ultimate goal, especially for women. Although society is changing, many people still harbor this attitude.
But despite what your parents, friends, or Disney tells you, you don’t actually have to marry anyone to have a happy ending. It’s okay not to get married, because you don’t need a spouse to complete you. You can be happy on your own because you are enough. Plenty of people will never marry and still find happiness and fulfillment. Here are eight signs that you’re one of them.
- You cherish your freedom. Marriage is the ultimate goal for many people. Part of the appeal is the idea of being part of a happy team where someone has always got your back. But the downside of being in a team is that you have less freedom. You have to factor in your spouse when it comes to making big decisions. You have to consider their wants and needs, plus those of any children, for the duration of the marriage. That can all be quite daunting for someone who values their freedom and doesn’t want to give it up. If you cherish your freedom and hold it as one of your highest priorities, you probably won’t ever sign a contract that binds you to someone else for life.
- You have other goals that don’t include marriage. While some people view marriage as the ultimate goal that matters more than anything else in their life, others view marriage as an obstacle. Considering marriage takes time and effort (which many people find are worth it), it can take away your attention from other things. You might have career goals or even personal goals that mean everything to you. If you view marriage as a hurdle to achieving those goals, it’s a sign that you might not ever walk down that aisle.
- You love being single. If you love being single, why would you change that? Society tries to pressure people to couple up, marry, and have children. But if you don’t buy into that and you’re happy the way you are, you’re probably not going to change it. This especially applies to people who have been single for a long time, or always revert back to being single. It might be that singledom is just your happy place, and that’s totally fine.
- The idea of settling down scares you. Marriage is a dream for some and a nightmare for others. In fact, the idea of settling down with someone can even be scary. If you have big career goals, adore your freedom, or dream of a life spent in spontaneity, the idea of getting married might not just be off-putting—it might be terrifying! Having that kind of fearful reaction to marriage is a clear sign that it’s not for you.
- You don’t feel bound by tradition. Sometimes people wed, not because they really want to, but because they buckle under pressure. Marriage has traditionally been viewed as the only way to have a happy ending, particularly for women. So it’s easy to see how people who aren’t interested in marriage end up going through with it anyway. But if you don’t feel that pressure and you couldn’t care less about tradition, you’re less likely to force yourself into something you know isn’t for you, like marriage.
- You associate marriage with negative memories. Sadly, some people have never seen a positive example of marriage. They might have grown up in an environment touched by bitter divorce or domestic violence. If you feel a sense of dread just thinking of marriage, and you don’t believe that it can actually work, this might be you. It’s normal to associate marriage with negative emotions if that was always your experience. While you can absolutely work through those issues with a professional and go on to have a happy marriage, it’s hard to go through with a wedding if you don’t address them.
- You don’t believe in monogamy. Not everyone believes in monogamy. Some people think it’s unrealistic to expect to be with only one person for eternity. Typically, traditional marriage and polygamy create quite a conflict. If you don’t believe in monogamy, you might not ever walk down the aisle because you don’t believe in the essence of traditional marriage. That said, some people still marry and have relationships with outsiders. Open marriages are a thing and so are swingers. Each to their own!
- Change terrifies you. Marriage is one of the biggest changes you’ll ever go through in your life. Not to put the pressure on, but with a single signature, you go from the single life to legally binding yourself to someone else. You become someone’s wife or husband. That’s a huge step! Plus, marriage tends to come with many other changes, like moving house and having kids. You’re not likely to go down that road at all if change frightens you.
