There are always clear signs when you’re not happy in a relationship. However, it’s harder to identify ways in which the relationship just isn’t perfect. It doesn’t mean that it’s bad necessarily, but that it just isn’t going to stay the distance. These are some of the hardest decisions that we make. The ability to act on these hard decisions marks out people who are willing to take risks in this world. Here are a few signs that your boyfriend actually isn’t your soulmate.
- You aren’t totally comfortable with him. If you can’t bare your heart and soul to the person that you’re supposedly sharing your life with, then how are they serving you? You might think that you’re perfectly happy and content in a relationship, but there’s actually a lot that you’re missing out on. Ask yourself what you really want out of a relationship and you might be surprised by the difference between your dreams and your reality.
- You don’t fart around each other. Your boyfriend can’t be your soulmate if you can’t even let off a little wind around each other. You aren’t comfortable in your bodily fluids around them yet? Do you still run the shower when you’re going to the bathroom at his apartment? Do you still feel anxious about shaving religiously every time you see him? Are you more concerned by how he perceives you than enjoying yourself in the moment? These might seem like patronizing questions, but ultimately they’re very revealing.
- There’s no future. It’s the end of a great epithet: no farts, no future. If you have been going out a few months or even years and you’re still covering up the parts of your body or life that might be undesirable to him, you have to stop. One of two things might be wrong: either you aren’t comfortable with him or he hasn’t made room for you to be comfortable with him. Both things are issues that need to be addressed. They can be resolved with communication and honesty.
- Your friends don’t like him. This is always a telltale sign that your current boyfriend isn’t your soulmate. Your friends know you best, and if they aren’t impressed by your partner, you’re in trouble. You will always be working against that standard. They only want what’s best for you, and they know you better than anyone. Trust their instinct if you won’t listen to yours.
- You haven’t met his family. Maybe he doesn’t even talk about his family or his past around you. That isn’t a good sign. If he isn’t talking about his past, it doesn’t mean that he sees you in his future. Think about that. He’s keeping you at bay, on the surface of things.
- You don’t brag about him. When you’re really with your soulmate you want to talk about them all the time and tell the world about your love. When you’re slightly ashamed of the person you’re with or when you don’t see it lasting, you won’t shout about it to the heavens. These are the unconscious ways in which we reveal ourselves.
- You don’t tell him everything. I don’t mean that you keep secrets, per se, but you don’t spill your soul to him. You keep everything above board and all that, but life is about more than that. It’s about telling your partner about that necklace that you want to save for, but you’re afraid to say it in case you don’t meet that goal. I’m talking about the small but intimate gestures that make up your life, not just the declaration that you’re sad when your grandma dies – the emotional day-to-day stuff that you don’t owe to another person but that you want to tell them anyway.
- You don’t miss him when he’s gone. Now, don’t get me wrong, quality time with couples isn’t just as simple as spending every second together. You have to be able to deal with space. But that’s a different prospect entirely to not missing your person when they’re gone. You might just think that you’re not a jealous person or that you trust your partner when they’re hanging out with other friends. However, that might come from a place of indifference or ambivalence. Jealousy, for example, is an emotion that is common in relationships and must be overcome in a healthy way. It shows that you care and that you value your role in their life. They aren’t disposable to your life.
If you see yourself in this list, there isn’t a cause for immediate panic. Relationships don’t have to be goal-oriented – you can’t win or lose them, but they do often end. Just make sure you know whether you’re with your soulmate or not and don’t waste too much time if you can see the sun setting on your relationship. You’ll know when you find him for real, believe me.
