You’re always in a relationship, so you can’t really complain about being single, but sometimes you wonder if your coupled up friends are having a difference experience than you are. They just seem so… happy, and you can’t figure out why you’re not on cloud nine just like them. Chances are, you might be settling into mediocre relationships instead of waiting for the right guy to come around. How can you tell?
You’re always on the lookout. If you approach every outing as an opportunity to scope out the fellas even though you already have one, you might not be with your best match. Sure, we all look, but extensive daydreams about trading up are not where your mind should be. Believe it or not, some people actually fantasize about their real life boyfriends.
Your sex life is always lackluster. Who can blame you? If you’re not hot for him, you probably don’t have a lot of interest in jumping his bones. But you should. Passion and heat in the sexual department are some of the things that separate our boyfriends from our boy friends. Don’t end up dating your best guy friend if the loving feelings aren’t mutual, even if he’s dependable as can be.
You want to change him. No one’s perfect, but it’s a sure sign that you tend to settle if you have a long list of things to change about your guy. If you don’t like his sense of humor, his hair, where he lives, the way he kisses, his friends, and the way he smells, you might have just gone along with the guy because he liked you without thinking much about what you like. There should be something about him that’s better than all those other guys otherwise what’s the point?
You feel like you’re lucky to have anyone. Lucky in love is one thing; lucky just to get a date is quite another. Don’t underestimate what you’ve got to offer and fall into a relationship just because some random guy has it bad. If you are always moving from relationship to relationship and never single, you might want to think about why.
You can’t stand being alone. Maybe you’re one of those people who just feels better having someone around to clean up the physical and proverbial messes in life. If the idea of grocery shopping without your boyfriend leaves you in a state of true anxiety you might be a little overly dependent on having one…any one. It sounds crazy but sometimes we can only find the right guy when we’re totally whole and self-sufficient on our own. Deep breathes.
You’re afraid there’s no one better. Staying in a relationship just in case there aren’t any other options for you is the epitome of settling. If he’s not right for you, then of course there’s someone better. Would you prefer your future boyfriend to be settling in a relationship or confidently trusting that you are out there somewhere? When guys know you’re in a relationship they’re not real likely to be asking you out, so you actually have no idea who’s interested in you, now do you.
You feel too guilty about dumping people. Relationships can be messy every step of the way, and breaking up is just a part of most of them. It’s sweet that you feel bad about the timing because he just lost his job and he has family coming to town next week, but in the long run it’s more honest to handle your feelings as they occur. Yes, you might sting his heart a little, but you’d be doing you both a disservice to stay when your own heart is not really in it.
You’re the only one making compromises. Every relationship out there requires compromises, and in our friendships we tend to do it organically because we love our support our girls. But in romantic relationships where people tend to be more controlling over their place of power, over or under compromising can throw things out of whack pretty quickly. The right guy will do more (a lot more) than meet you halfway some of the time, because he’ll care.
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