Sometimes it can tough to tell whether or not you’re dating someone who’s mature enough to handle a real adult relationship. One of the best ways to tell is their reactions to certain situations. Yes, everyone is different, but as we grow, we’re much more capable of handling more and taking on more responsibility in life. Here are eight situations that will show you whether or not you’re with a grown man or an immature boy.
Talking about sex
If you’re old enough to have it, you’re old enough to talk about it. If your partner shies away whenever you use words like “condoms,” then they’re not ready to take on the emotional responsibility of sex. You need to feel comfortable talking about your bedroom likes and dislikes, and whether or not you’re comfortable with the way things are going. Grown men will listen to you. Boys will take offense and walk away.
Meeting the family
Meeting the family is a huge step and one of the first that states “this person is in it for the long haul.” Just think about it — you’d never take a “friend with benefits” to a family party unless it’s someone you happened to grow up with who your family is already familiar with. If your guy refuses to meet your folks, he’s really not taking this as seriously as you are. If he claims he wants to be in a serious relationship with you but calls events like this “boring” or “dull,” then he just doesn’t have the maturity to handle something real.
A pregnancy scare
Pregnancy is a tough thing to deal with, especially if it’s a surprise. A good partner will take partial responsibility and support your feelings. They may openly tell you they aren’t interested in getting involved, but won’t stop you from making the call that’s right for you. A boy will very quickly end the situation or even block your number. Don’t be with someone who realizes that safe sex is both of your responsibilities.
Losing your job
I had a boyfriend dump me right after losing a job, which was one of the most hurtful situations I’ve been in. When I needed him most, he fled. Likely because he wasn’t emotionally mature enough to handle what the next step would be. He was a good friend but a lousy boyfriend. A real man won’t ditch you when you need their support the most. The situation may be scary for both of you, especially if you live together and have combined bills. But, good relationships happen when you and your partner work as a team.
Losing a family member or pet
Not everyone knows how to handle the topic of death, but if someone you love dies and your partner bails on you, you’re not dating a grown man. Ditching you in a time of need may be something your boyfriend will end up regretting someday. Just remember, strong relationships go through strong and weak periods. Just because you’ve been more emotionally fragile doesn’t mean you’re not the same person they started dating. For the record, don’t let them tell you that “you changed” when they try to make excuses for bailing.
Getting a promotion
Guys who aren’t very good boyfriends often feel intimidated if their girlfriend makes more money than them, or has a better title than them. This is, obviously, quite sexist. A grown man who’s ready for a true partnership would be proud and honored of all your successes in life. Life shouldn’t be a competition.
Sexual harassment is still very common, but that doesn’t make it comfortable. A real man will help support you when something like this happens. They’ll prove to you that you’re more than the phrases that were shouted at you from a stranger. A boy might feel as if he’s being challenged, putting his own feelings and insecurities above your very reasonable pain. You need to be with someone who doesn’t make every issue in life about him. A grown man knows better.
Being contacted by your ex
It happens every so often. Maybe they’re lonely, or perhaps they want to develop a legitimate friendship with you. Hell, maybe they want to get back together. If you communicate with your boyfriend about what’s going on and what you expect going forward, they should be able to support your decision. Unless your ex is trying to win you back and you’re thinking about it or your ex was abusive in any way, the situation in itself is pretty harmless. Grown men will understand if the romance is really gone between you and your ex. A boy might assume you’re one step away from cheating just by hearing this guy’s name mentioned. Be with someone who respects your friendships and decisions.
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