8 BS Standards Single Girls Shouldn’t Have To Meet

When you’re single and going on one bad date after another, it can feel like you just can’t win. And it doesn’t help that some guys expect you to live up to some pretty impossible standards:

  1. Be “effortlessly” beautiful. A girl who knows how to do her hair and makeup might look beautiful at first, but that’s why you should always take her swimming on the first date, AMIRIGHT? For some reason, so many dudes romanticize the idea of a girl who looks cute from the moment she wakes up. They love the idea of a woman who’s physically attractive, but also ultra-low maintenance. While I’m sure those ladies exist somewhere out there, most of us need to spend a little time and effort on our appearances if we want to look the way so many guys think we should look.
  2. Don’t be promiscuous, but be good in bed. Even though the idea that “practice makes perfect” is certainly true for anything done in the bedroom, lots of dudes still think that women should stay virtually celibate when they’re single… unless, of course, they are the ones sleeping with the women. At that point, of course, the girl they’re having sex with should know exactly what she’s doing. If she’s not a lady-in-the-streets-freak-in-the-sheets kind of girl, she’s either an uptight prude or a dirty promiscuous woman in their eyes.
  3. Be flirty, but only if you’re willing to act on it. Have you ever been called “stuck up” or “bitchy” because you turned down a guy’s advances? You’re not alone. Some dudes think that they’re God’s gift to women and that if we’re not flirting with them, there must be something wrong with US. Be careful, though — if you flirt with a guy all night just for fun and then head home alone when he asks if you want to spend the night at his place, you might be labeled a “tease” because you didn’t have the same end game as him.
  4. Be responsive, but not enough to be “clingy.” It drives some guys crazy when girls take more than a few minutes to respond to their messages, but if you respond too fast and too frequently for their taste, you’re pegged as being desperate. It’s understandable when you’re sending five messages before he’s even gotten a chance to respond to your “hello,” but for some dudes, an immediate response is too fast and a slightly delayed response is way too slow.
  5. Don’t chat up other guys, but don’t be upset when he’s chatting up other girls. Before you’ve made things exclusive, you’re technically free to flirt and hook up with anyone you want. But there are lots of guys who claim that it’s “promiscuous” when a girl is even just talking to more than one guy at a time. Of course, though, when he’s the one talking to multiple girls, it’s “not a big deal” and suddenly you’re “crazy” and “jealous” for bringing up the double standard.
  6. Go exactly at the pace he wants. Move too fast in the flirtationship, and you’re “clingy.” Move too slow, and you’re “playing hard-to-get.” Tons of single guys prefer to set the pace in a budding romance, and if you don’t go along at exactly their speed, you get labeled. It’s like trying to keep pace next to a car that keeps speeding up, then slamming on the brakes, then cruising along at a normal speed. At some point, you’re going to end up either ahead of or behind the car, but the difference is the car isn’t going to ghost you when it gets sick of you not conforming to its idea of how fast a fling should develop.
  7. Never wear enough makeup to make it seem like you’re “lying” to him. A disconcerting number of guys think that women wear makeup to trick men into thinking they’re more beautiful than they really are, as though any girl has naturally crimson lips and winged eyeliner. Some guys actually get upset when they realize that a girl’s “no makeup” selfie looks a little different from the woman they went out drinking with the night before. Of course, if a girl doesn’t wear any makeup when she goes out, she runs the risk of being labeled lazy or even ugly.
  8. Be like one of the guys, but not too much. If you prefer beer to cosmos and football to The Bachelor, you’re a “cool girl,” right? But that label goes away the moment you reveal that you prefer not to shave your armpits or like wearing baggy shirts instead of cute dresses. So many single guys want a girl who walks the thin line between being feminine, but not inconveniently feminine. They want someone who is like them, but desirable. While we all kind of want something like that in a significant other, some dudes won’t settle for anything less than the stereotypical “cool girl.”
Averi is a word nerd and Brazilian jiu jitsu brown belt. She's also a TEFL/TESOL-certified ESL teacher and an equine enthusiast. Originally from Pennsylvania, she lived in Costa Rica for a while before moving to Australia. In addition to her work as a writer and editor for Bolde, she also has bylines with Little Things and regularly writes for Jiu-Jitsu Times.

You can follow Averi on Instagram @bjjaveri or on Twitter under the same handle.