We’ve probably all received some pretty cringeworthy “sexy” texts in our dating lives — we may even have sent a few back in the day before we grew up a bit and came to our senses. Unfortunately, many guys still haven’t come to that point and way too many of them continue to partake in and/or enjoy these awkward (and frankly, pretty embarrassing) texting behaviors:
- The after-midnight text. For whatever reason— okay, let’s be honest; we know the reason — guys love the post-night out texts because they think they’re going to get something. But ladies, trust: sending drunk texts to a guy you just started seeing isn’t sexy. It’s desperate no matter what the guy in question thinks he’s getting from you. It’s probably drool. Through the phone. Because you’re gonna be asleep in 15 minutes anyway. It’s cool, friends — we’re all adults here and it’s just fine to go ahead and admit that we’re not the silly adolescents that we used to be.
- Using sexy pet names. It’s embarrassing for you and it demeans you as a woman to be calling a guy “honey,” “sweetie” or “baby” after a date or two or vice versa. He probably gets into it because he thinks that he’s got you totally whipped (and he might) but you don’t want to go down that road just yet, do you? (“No.” The answer is unequivocally “no.”) Also, if either of you’re using those kinds of names this early into the game, you have to wonder about how many other women he’s probably calling “sweetie” and “love.” Take stock of that before you go ahead and drop the terms of endearment.
- Naked photos. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t send naked photos, but I am saying that you shouldn’t send naked photos too soon. Why give away all the goods before it even gets interesting? Who wants to see your body on a flat screen when they can see it in person? Talk about ruining the anticipation. No guy will ever turn down naked photos, sadly, and that’s why we women keep sending them way too early. The build-up is one of the best parts in the early days of a relationship. Don’t rush it or it’ll get too stale too quickly.
- Baby talk. You’re a grown woman. You don’t need to be abbreviating stuff in your messages like “rn” for “right now,” as in, “I want u so bad rn.” Yeah, the guy on the receiving end is probably not paying attention to your spelling, grammar and texting etiquette, but honestly, if he’s not, is that someone you really want to continue to be involved with? Probably not. I’m not saying that your guy needs to have a college degree or some kind of educational pedigree to flap your wings, but you at least want the intellect of someone who’s been through most of high school if you’re gonna mess around, don’t you?
- Overly crass sex talk. I’m not saying you can’t be a wild woman, not at all, but what I am saying is that giving the guy the impression that you’re some kind of nymphomaniac within the first few dates is just setting him up for disappointment — and you too, because he’s gonna think he’s falling for someone he’s not. He’ll dig your nasty girl vibe at first, but when he realizes that you’re really just a bread-baking cat lady at heart who only likes to let loose once in a blue moon, you’ve successfully sabotaged yourself. He’ll move on quicker than you can say, “Let’s watch ‘Wheel of Fortune.'”
- The ol’ “What do you want to do to me?” It’s so lame, so overdone and so very ’00s. It’s fine if you’re out of practice and your dating style is dated, but if you’re talking to a dude like you’re chatting on MySpace, then man, I don’t even know what to say about that. Guys love this text for whatever reason, but you’re probably in agreement that it’s embarrassing AF and superbly uninspired. Going to the proctologist is probably sexier than “What do you want to do to me?” Two words: be creative.
- Outright asking for a nude pic. Of course he’s gonna get excited right off the bat—he is a man, after all—but it positively reeks of desperation. And you don’t ever want to have the term “reek” anywhere near photos of naked intimate parts. Yikes. Chances are, he’ll probably send you one without you ever even having to ask — that’s not a good thing, by the way.
- Explicit sexts if you haven’t, you know, actually had sex yet. I’m not talking about setting yourself up for failure or anything, but… yeah, no, I actually am. Trying to entice a guy into wanting to sleep with you over text just isn’t the way to a lasting relationship or hookup. He’s gonna love the filthy innuendoes, but why not save it for after your first hookup and keep the fire going? Too much too soon, you know?